Welcome to Dear Puttylike, where our team of writers tackles your burning multipotentialite questions! Submissions are edited for length and clarity.
Dear Puttylike,
I am a multipotentialite studying for my graduate degree, and I have learned a lot and loved it, but now I am bored and feel it would be impossible or at least very hard for me to finish. Do you think that it’s okay to let go and not get my degree?
Thanks,
Bahar
Hi Bahar,
First, it’s always okay to let go of something that isn’t serving you anymore. Multipotentialites deal with that issue quite a bit, so know that you’re not alone.
You may feel a bit guilty to even consider not completing your degree. That’s normal too, and it could be that not finishing is an excellent solution for you.
There’s much more to consider, so let’s dig deeper into your question!
Why are you feeling bored?
We’ll need to keep things a bit general because I don’t have a lot of background info on you and your specific situation. I’ll step through your question and then talk about some solutions that I think can help other multipotentialites in the same boat.
Let’s start by talking about the boredom you’re feeling. It might be helpful to consider why you’re feeling bored, and that the answer may not be obvious. There could be many explanations for your ambivalence, but reflecting on a few potential reasons is a terrific place to begin.
1. You’re finished—you got what you came for
Multipotentialites define finishing differently than specialists. To a specialist, you might be “finished” when you obtain that degree, put in 10,000 hours or become a world-renowned expert. But to a multipotentialite, finishing looks very different. As author Barbara Sher puts it, finishing simply means that you got what you came for. “What you came for” could be the completion of a project, but it could also be something more personal, like developing a new skill, solving a problem, gaining a new experience, expressing your creativity, etc. To the outside world, you might not look finished, but only you know if you’re done here.
Imagine sitting down to watch a movie you’ve been super excited to see. About a third of the way through, you realize you’re getting fidgety. You’re easily distracted by the swirly pattern on your couch. Do you suffer through another hour of the movie, or do you switch to something else?
If you’re done, you’re done. Let go of the guilt. There’s no shame in losing interest in a given subject. Give yourself permission to move on to other things that captivate your brain and bring you joy.
2. You’re feeling more challenged than when you started
Have you ever been reading a book and suddenly, halfway down the page, realized you don’t know what you just read? Sometimes this happens because you’re tired or distracted, but it can also happen because you didn’t understand a word or a concept earlier on. Once you go back and clear up the confusion, you can get right back to focusing on your reading.
Perhaps your classes are like that. Starting a course feels fun and exciting, because you’re just getting oriented to the material. However, you may have to work harder to keep up as you get deeper in. That mental shift can cause boredom, particularly if you’re not absorbing the material as you progress.
Take some time to discover if there are places in your coursework where you stopped understanding things quickly. Then backtrack and get a hold of the concepts you missed out on. That exercise may get you interested again!
3. Something new is taking away your focus
Ah, Shiny Object Syndrome (SOS). The Syndrome is real, and it happens to the best of us. Multipods are particularly affected by SOS because it’s so easy for us to get excited by the potential of a new idea or project.
If you find that a fresh interest has started to replace your schoolwork, don’t just sweep the new discovery under the rug. It will likely continue to pull at the back of your mind anyway. There are great strategies to organize your mental space, allowing you to focus on your courses and keep your more recent curiosity.
Ask yourself what you expected to get from the degree
As we step through more of your question, you should review your original reasons for pursuing a graduate degree. Again, there are some key questions to consider. Let’s walk through some potential motivations you may have had for starting this path of study in the first place.
The certificate
Did you set out to get that piece of paper so you could qualify for better pay, or even a better job? Some positions absolutely require a graduate degree, while for others it may be unnecessary. Take some time to research and assess whether the certificate will really help you land a better job, get a raise, or otherwise meet your goals.
The achievement
Many people start projects with the end goal of being able to say, “I did it!” That’s a great feeling, and there’s nothing wrong with obtaining a graduate degree solely for the satisfaction of the achievement itself.
Are you still interested in this specific achievement or is there something new you’re involved with that may give you that same feeling of fulfillment?
The education
Do you like to learn new things just for the fun of it? Many people, particularly multipotentialites, head down a path simply to broaden their knowledge, not to fill an end goal. Not having a finish line to cross is totally okay. If the goal is simply to learn, there may be other ways to achieve it as well. Many multipotentialites are autodidacts and do quite well learning with an internet connection and a pile of books.
Sunk costs
When you’re deciding whether or not to continue something—whether it’s baking a cake or pursuing a graduate degree—it makes sense to contemplate how much you have already invested.
In the case of this graduate program, the financial costs associated with obtaining a degree may be quite significant. It’s worthwhile to analyze the monetary value of what you’ve already spent. Ask yourself if you’ll lose more by quitting than you will gain by finishing. Again, take into account the value of what a degree might bring in the job market.
Secondly, don’t overlook the mental costs. Have you already put in so much intellectual effort that quitting will leave you feeling unfulfilled? Or, is the thought of enduring one more hour of the boredom you’re feeling just too much to bear?
Reviewing both the mental and financial aspects of your sunk costs could bring you closer to a resolution.
Where to go from here?
We’ve explored a lot of potential reasons you might not want to finish your degree. Let’s talk about some practical things you can actually do about them—including the option to stay the course.
- Take a break and graduate later. It’s entirely doable to hit the pause button on getting your degree. Talk to your school administrator about how that can work. Maybe after a breather, you’ll feel excited again.
- Put your energy into new things. Has your passion run its course? Is it possible that you already got what you needed out of your schoolwork, and you don’t need to continue on the same path? Focusing on things that genuinely excite you, whether that means leaving your program or just dividing your attention, may bring your life back into balance.
- Learn differently. If it’s all about education for you, there are many ways to get that without the formality of a degree. Perhaps, instead of taking a full complement of courses in a graduate program, you can take one course at a time. Or you could pursue your studies on your own. Either way, this may enable you to get deeper into a subject and enjoy the learning experience itself.
- Stay the course. After all of these considerations, it’s entirely conceivable that you’ll decide to complete your graduate program. When you factor in your sunk costs—both mental and financial—you may find that the best solution is to move forward with getting your degree. It’s an option worth considering as much as quitting.
The correct answer for you
Multipods typically have more than one string to their bow. While we’re all very similar in that way, we are also unique individuals with varying motivations and histories. The right answer for you about completing your degree (or not) won’t match up with someone else’s, even if they’re on a similar path.
Hopefully, the alternate options I mentioned above will help you reframe your thinking and guide you to your best answer.
Your turn
Have you ever invested a lot of time and effort (and maybe money!) into something, only to feel done before it’s “supposed” to be over? Do you have any experiences with graduate school? Leave a comment below and share your experience—and your tips for handling this common multipotentialite experience.
Is there something that’s getting in the way of you living your best multipotentialite life? Got a puzzling productivity challenge or career quandary? Is there a particular family member who won’t accept your many facets? Or maybe you have a more general question about multipotentialites and how we move through the world? Send your “Dear Puttylike” questions to advice@puttylike.com
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Jennifer says
I’m having this same thought process with a certificate program I started last year. I found that I’m more interested in the medical part than the administrative part. But … I have a loan to pay off and completing the certificate would make me able to take a job in that area … It’s just difficult.
D.J. says
Hi Jennifer,
That does sound like a difficult choice.
I love this quote by Fridjof Nansen:
“I demolish my bridges behind me — then there is no choice but forward.
Catherine says
As a fellow multipod, I understand the loss of interest in the degree. But I would urge Bahar to finish it, because one day when they are old, they will look back and wish they had. They might not get the chance to do another degree and end up with no qualification. It is also much much harder to go back and study after a break as you are out of sync with everyone else. I hope Bahar finishes this degree, the sense of pride at getting a degree (especially in this uncertain world now) is immense.
D.J. says
Hi Catherine,
It sounds like maybe you have some personal experience with this, which would be interesting to hear!
Like you, I believe that finishing any program can bring an immense sense of pride that you can carry through life. On the flip side, I’ve known many people who wish they had moved on from something much sooner and later regretted the time, energy and money spent.
We all have different needs and experiences, and ultimately Bahar is the only person who can come up with the right answer for them.
Cecilia says
I was in a PhD program that I dropped out of after 2 years when I realized my heart wasn’t in it and it was costing me a lot of my mental wellbeing and finances. Even if I had finished it, it wouldn’t have lead to a career I would’ve really loved. I still feel some regret.. however, in the time since I left, I’ve done a lot of other different things that made me happier.
Judy Ostrander says
I’ve never regretted finishing anything but I’ve sure regretted not ,,,,finishing !!!!!
If you can stay the course if possible but if it’s impossible finically or your mental health is suffering then you need a change but if I quit everything that I was bored with I’d never finish anything,,,,maybe ask yourself why your bored is the work not challenging or your not understanding the material? I’ve never take any higher Ed that fascinating from beginning to end but with those degrees I was able to pursue other dreams and go down the path that suited me !!!!’
Good luck with your decision
Echidna says
If you were going to jump down a multi-potentiate rabbit-hole, I suspect that you would have already taken that leap. Given you are still looking into it, ‘The work of Bill Burnett and Dave Evans may help you work your way through your postgrad-study dilemma. Perhaps start by listening to this https://www.youtube.com/user/TEDxTalks/searchquery=Bill%20Burnett%20and%20Dave%20Evans
Then, if this design thinking approach works for you…sign up for their online course at Stanford, or if funds are tight, or if you are an autodidact, read their book ‘Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life’ Sep 20, 2016′ & work through ‘The Designing Your Life Workbook: A Framework for Building a Life You Can Thrive In’ Apr 3, 2018. I was stuck and both helped. As D.J. Billings pointed out above there are sunk costs involved: emotional investment, time resources, and $s. Also, I noticed you have not mentioned any other interest(s) that you are bursting to jump into. Maybe, if you choose to do the suggested design thinking analysis, create your ‘life dashboard’, you can gain insights that will not only help you decide about your post-grad study now, but remind you in the future why you chose as you did. Perhaps help you uncover an overlooked ‘multidisciplinary angle’ to revive your interest in your course, or if you have ‘already got what you came for’, point to the launch-pad to your next passion(s).
D.J. says
Echidna,
That’s very helpful, thank you for sharing those links!
Dr. T says
I finished college “later” in life and I use the term “finished” loosely because I barely started in the first place when I got out of high school. I left to pursue other opportunities and I actually don’t regret it. I mainly went back because I felt like it was time for a new chapter, better opportunities and personal fulfillment. Personally, as a woman, I like not being defined by my marital status as a prefix to my name. That aside, I had started a YouTube channel, blogs and a couple of businesses over the years that I abandoned because I felt they didn’t serve me any more or weren’t working out the way I’d envisioned. I did learn a lot about my working style, business preferences, what I like and what I don’t. I think the difference for me is, as an entrepreneur, there are some things I just can’t leave undone, like my You Tube channel. I’ve made plans for my channel, blogs and other businesses to be managed and outsourced so I can grow them without having to put the energy into them myself. I think this route will serve us multipods the best. Outsource, hire staff and management to do the stuff we don’t like or get bored with and that frees us up to do what we do best. Right now, I’m trying to grow my personal brand via social media and other online outlets. As an introvert, it’s not my favorite thing, but I try to make it work. When I can, I will be hiring a social media manager. I would offer the advice to Bahar to finish, I think it would bring so much personal fulfillment at a minimum.
D.J. says
Hi Dr. T,
Thank you for sharing that!
Eugenio says
I graduated in math even if in the last couple of years I lost a lot of interest. But I knew I wanted to finish. After a year of teaching in high school, I missed the feeling I had while studying at university and dealing with the “high level” topic. I started a PhD. It was “now or never”, because it was going to be too late for it. After 6 months I started questioning if I was really liking it. I couldn’t find the same interest I had while I was just studying. But in a pandemic and with health problems I decided to go on and see if it was temporary. Now almost two years are gone and I really want to leave. I’m not interested, not involved, not motivated. I feel guilty because I love math! But I can’t find the same feeling I had with it. What to do? Keep on going for one other year or leave to concentrate to something I love more?
Going from student to worker is hard too. How much it’s my fault not to find a good equilibrium, or how much this kind of study doesn’t fit me anymore? This is what I’m dealing with right now. Thank you for your suggestions ?
D.J. says
Hi Eugenio,
Maybe you “got what you came for?” I wonder if there are other ways to explore and study Math that would get you excited again?
Patrizia Verrecchia says
Dear Bahar, reading your advice request took me back fifty years. So to make a long story short, my first choice when I finished High School was Maths. I loved Maths, but I’m a multipotentialite, and after a couple of years, I switched to Psychology, and after another two years, I quit University. I went back to it 30 years later, trying to graduate in Foreign languages and Culture, and this time too, I didn’t graduate. You can certainly imagine many other different life issues were involved in making these decisions. Still, today if I could go back, I think I would do everything to graduate in Maths, not because I wanted particular employment but because not having a University degree has narrowed my choices in life.
I’ve had a lot of different jobs in entirely different fields, but sooner or later, I got to regret I didn’t have a degree. I probably have your grandparents’ age, so Granny’s tip: graduate and then have fun, like me, doing whatever your multipotentialite personality pushes you to do.
If you want to have a peek at my life: https://presdreamers.com/about-me/
Good Luck
Patrizia (Rome Italy)
D.J. says
Hi Patrizia, thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you’ve had quite a varied and interesting life!
Bahar says
Thank you D.J. for responding! The timing of your response was PERFECT! I got the email about your response the morning I wanted to make my final decision on the matter; and it gave me a new way of thinking about my decision.
Thank you all for commenting and sharing your experiences! They were invaluable.
D.J. says
That’s great, Bahar! I’m glad to hear from you and I’m so happy it worked out. Would you mind sharing your decision? No pressure, but I’m dying to know and I imagine others are, too. 🙂
Ann says
I’m having the same issue – I’ve started an online graduate degree in Cyber Security which, when finished, will have cost me quite a bit of money. Some parts of the topic are fascinating to me, but most of the modules bore me to tears. I realised quite a while ago that Tech is just not my thing any more – I “got what I came for” from Tech and now it’s simply a good way to earn an income while my interests have moved on significantly.
The Sunk Cost would be minimal in my case as of yet – but then my ego is urging me on to get that MSc, which I guess is a part of “what I came for” in this case. I don’t know how to decide, as I’m sure my interests are only ever going to take me further from Tech, not closer.