There was a scenic walkway behind the building where I was working that day. It was probably the playground where workers went to have recess so they could clear their minds and reset. It reminded me of the outdoor area at care homes or hospitals where old people would sit and wait for the end to take them. It was timid. The grass was shaved bald. The trees were geometrically organized in a way that tore away at it’s soul. The gentle breathing that came from the stream of water that poured out of the fountain would make anyone want to cry. And the geese that walked around waiting patiently for bread crumbs, circled around bench stricken people like vultures waiting for their corpse. Everything about it just screamed an artificiality, deprived of it’s innocence, a lack luster of depth and life.
We do our best to hide ourselves
Somewhere down the line we created this idea of what is beautiful. The rustic architecture dining set from a furniture catalogue. The deep sensual cleavage from swimsuit models. The ugly alien faced cars that look like someone drew headlights on a hard boiled egg. Somewhere down the line we stopped falling in love, and started chasing after things that pretended to be everything that we wanted. People started lying to themselves. Instead of saying, this is what I want, they started saying, “this will make my friends jealous.”
We tend to hide behind clothes, cars, make up, and a large number of friends we really never spent any time with, so we could better advertise ourselves to other people. We want to impress others with our plastic generous features. The worst part being that we hide behind rules. The rules that other people live by we dedicate ourselves to adopt. We learn to like the things they want. Wear the clothes they want us to wear. Buy the brands and logos everybody else wants us to praise. Chase after the things they’re chasing after, but don’t want you to reach because they want to reach it first. How could you truly love something that someone else told you you should love? How could love exist in that way? We are no ones puppets.
You cannot marry a lie
Beauty is not to be tainted by conformity. True beauty lies in someone’s innocence. Someone’s bare being that hasn’t been ravaged by the scrutiny of others. Sex is the act of giving someone your whole body. Love is the act of giving someone your whole self. We cannot decide that we could blind ourselves from the imperfections of others, to simply cherish the obvious appealing attributes that one has. That’s not love. That’s stupidity. If someone cannot love everything about themselves, they’re not real. They’re just pretending.
To truly understand what we want, we have to cut ourselves off from what everyone else wants. We cannot impress anyone by standing up as someone else. We have to embrace our insecurities and laugh at others for trying so hard. It’s pathetic. No one shaves a rain forest and calls it beautiful. The rain forest was always beautiful. Man and woman was always beautiful. Anything natural is beautiful. Ugliness is what happens when someone decides to cover everything up with crap and trash. It’s an eye sore to see someone try that hard.
It’s still not okay to just be present
A lot of the time people think I’m saying you should be yourself, and that’s not exactly what I’m trying to express. The idea that you should be yourself gives off this whole negative thought process endowed by laziness and staying in one place, not pursuing something more. That’s not what I believe. I believe in growth. Growth is beautiful. To keep a relationship from becoming mundane both people have to be growing separately. They cannot choose to do things simply because the other person wants to. Chronic following is not very attractive.
Instead, you should be the person you want to be. Keyword being “you.” You’re the only person who can decide where to walk in the morning, and where life should take you. You are the only person who will make you happy. No one, no rules, nothing should keep you from becoming the person you want to become. You’re allowed your innocence, you’re allowed your insecurity. You’re allowed to embrace the things you genuinely and honestly want in life. And from there, all things that are beautiful and real, will be brought to you. All people and all things will become impressed by who you are. Because you are real. And what is real, is what is beautiful.
Jonathan Manor is a lifestyle design blogger who inspires people to take plunges and learn how to adapt. He is obnoxious, insecure, and above all else, awesome. He likes pie on weekends. He blogs at Evening Revolution.