I first noticed the ukulele at the ice cream shop. It was crafted from glossy Koa wood, and the minute I plucked my fingers against the strings, I knew I wanted to buy it. No way, I told myself, paying for my popsicle and getting out of the shop as quickly as possible. My schedule was already so busy studying Spanish, surfing, longboarding, writing, and working on my business. It was an absurd time to learn a new instrument. I had also just moved to a beach town in Mexico and if I were going to be watching YouTube on a loop, I should be brushing up on my salsa moves, not learning ukulele chords. No harm in learning a song or two, the devil on my shoulder whispered. It will just end up gathering dust in the corner, the practical angel shot back.
I resisted the temptation to buy the ukulele and kept to my existing projects. A few weeks later, I injured my knee in a scooter accident. I was crushed—I’d have to spend two weeks with my leg propped up in bed without surfing, longboarding, or salsa dancing. But even though my knee was throbbing in pain, I had a devilish grin. It was the perfect opportunity to try out the ukulele.
When I look back on the past decade of my life, I’ve seen this scenario unfold time and time again. I studied Spanish in college and spent a semester abroad in Buenos Aires. I loved the language, but didn’t make the time to speak or study regularly for 8 years. I always felt a twinge of guilt about this unfinished project, and every so often would vow to finally download DuoLingo or find a conversation partner. This past year, I relocated to Mexico, where I get to speak Spanish every day. My desire to learn the language never faded; it just wasn’t the right time. I only wish I had had patience and trust that the opportunity to pursue the passion would emerge in the future—once I had established my career and dabbled in a few other projects.
As multipotentialities, we can sometimes feel overwhelmed by our curiosity and hunger to pursue new businesses or projects, read every book, or learn multiple languages, instruments, sports, and fill-in-the-blank-with-your-thing-here. Sometimes, I’ll feed into a scarcity mentality and feel anxious that there won’t be enough time to learn and do everything unless I start it all right now. This leads me to create a self-sabotaging trap where I overload myself with ambitions and then feel guilty when I don’t have time to commit to it all.
Here are a few tips for knowing when it’s the right time to pursue something new and when it’s best to file away a seed of curiosity and trust that it will make its way back to you:
1. Sit on it
I once read that if you decide you want to quit smoking, you should think about it for a week before you actually put the cigarettes away. I think this is good advice for pursuing a new hobby or launching a project, as well. The beautiful thing about being a multipotentialite is that we can be curious about almost anything! But having a passionate curiosity for something might not translate into wanting to dedicate the hours to really learn it.
Once, after going to a music festival, I came back completely psyched to become a DJ! After some light googling, I realized I would have to download all the songs I wanted to mix (adorably, I thought I’d do it on Spotify) and I knew it wasn’t the path for me. When a new inspiration hits, give it a few weeks or months and see if the desire keeps coming up. Take the time to reflect and be honest if you’re interested in diving deep into the process or just want to fast-forward to the presumed outcome. I was definitely more excited about traveling the world as an international DJ than sitting at my computer and tweaking frequencies on a software program. If the desire naturally floats away after the initial inspiration, let it go!
2. Reflect on how it fits into your portfolio of pursuits
I learned to surf this year, and the first couple of months were very challenging. And when I say challenging, I mean demoralizing. I spent at least half of my time in the ocean getting whirled up by waves and swallowing liters of saltwater. It took a couple of months of consistent practice to get to a level where I was actually having fun.
The early phases of learning something new can be exciting, but can also involve a lot of failure and rote practice. Do you currently have the time and patience to commit to being bad at something before you start to find your flow? Everyone is different, but I also like to consider how a new endeavor fits into my portfolio of pursuits. I like to have at least one active project or hobby where I feel very confident to balance out a project where I am starting from scratch.
3. Trust there is a season for every call of the soul
My favorite part of being a multipotentialite is that I have an abundant array of coping mechanisms and curiosities to carry me through different seasons of life. Injured and stuck in bed? Time to strum on the ukulele. Quarantined for a global pandemic? Spend two hours a day alone in a parking lot learning to longboard dance! Failed business? Well, now it’s time to pursue your writing career.
Being a multipotentialite is such a gift, because we’re able to adapt when life throws us challenging circumstances. Every time I make the intentional choice to feel ease instead of guilt when I put a project on hold or save an idea for later, I build my trust muscle in myself. Whenever I feel a flash of inspiration and then decide, Hey, that’s not for me, I strengthen my commitment to my true callings: the ones that keep coming back.
If you ever feel overwhelmed with your curiosities…
…Or with your desire to pursue new endeavors, you’re not alone! Take a deep breath, turn inwards, and sit with the feelings that come up for you. Life is a series of seasons—of rain and drought, summer and winter, beginnings and endings. I now see my endless curiosities as a vibrant seed bank stocked for the future, instead of a to-do list of things I feel guilty for not actively pursuing. We can trust that all of our soul’s true callings will float back to us when the time is right. And it’s fun to have a few things to look forward to.
Your turn
How do you feel when you put a passion on the side burner? Do your natural passions always float back to you eventually? Share your stories and tips in the comments.
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Thanks so much for this article and all the insights you shared! Being excited about so many pursuits definitely brings a mix of exhilaration and overwhelm. Lately I have started being more intentional about what I want to spend my time doing toward each of my interests by making a list of all of the projects or new activities I want to do in a week. I pay attention to the ones that I never end up getting to, because that shows me what my priorities actually are for now. Your advice to “sit on it” definitely resonates too, because trying to do way too many new things at once can drain some magic out of all of them!
I love this idea, Steph! It sounds like you’re moving organically towards what you’re called to, while also collecting data on what is working for you. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Emily, thank you for your nice article. Trusting for the right season is what I’m doing right now. My brothers play in a musical group and they could need a double bass player. That hit me in my soul and last week I almost booked my first bass lesson. I’m a drummer and we are rehersing for a recording right now. So I figured I better paractice my drums than to learn a new instrument. I’m running two businesses and like to do more different sports than I find time to and care for my family. And yes I would love to sing in the local choir. My family of 4 (two girls) is kind of my bench mark. It filters all my multiple interests and temptations to do all the things I get exited about and makes me realize what I really really want to persue. I did quit some activities and didn’t fill it right up with new things to have more time with my family. This makes me do the things that are most valuable.
Thanks for sharing this, Patrick! What a beautiful example you’re setting for your two girls!
I liked the idea of putting a new passion on the “back burner” until the timing is right and I am prepared to go through the process of learning a new skill. This helps assuage my shame on missing another yet opportunity. I just recently learned how satisfying it can be to go deep, last week as a matter of a fact when I wrote an application for a city grant. This was because I had the feeling of disparate pieces to come together like a puzzle. Note I am writing under my pseudonym.
Thanks for sharing, Hana. I am so glad to hear you’re going deep on a project that feels meaningful for you. There will be plenty of time for everything else!
Thank you for this. I’m always looking for good filters. I *love* is this one, “is this passion for now or something to enjoy waiting for?”
Oh my yes! Just yes to all of this. I’m am a recently self-discovered putty peep and I am loving the joys of following each thread of curiosity through to its obsession, until something else takes it’s place or it changes and evolves. What I am is passionate about All of this. I’m sick to the back teeth of the word niche! Especially in business coaching.
Sitting with these multitude of interests involves both conscious and subconscious awareness. While conscious awareness is effective, meditation offers an orderly approach to confusion. Upright with my back resting slightly on the headboard, I turn inward to the cosmic computer. It can take a few to settle in but it is worth it. There I am not so much directing my thoughts, but drifting out into Space and out of Time. The answer will come, if I just listen.
Perhaps it is easy to move into obsession. All of life is balance between rest and activity. Subconscious pausing, sitting on it, and waiting for the seasonal changes first, (as I may very well be quite occupied raking leaves), can save me from the dreaded – Stress.
Thanks for sharing, Jame. Meditation is such a great tool!
I have often that if I want something, I start getting obsessed over it. That way it’s hard to quit the desire. But I almost always write it down. Very often if I look back in my journal I see that the things I really want I often did. Sometimes it’s just some crazy idea, like I tried to be a kitesurf-instructor while I couldn’t kite that well.. I got a trial period which at least learned me to kitesurf better, now I know the theory better. Same with being a barista with no experience, I tried another trial with a nice coffee shop. Didn’t got the job but now I can make nice coffees. I often use jobs as a way of learning skills and then get fired or quit. So basically if I want it really it comes effortlessly or it’s not meant for me… And I don’t mean not practicing or so, but more if I’m not really motivated to practice, it’s not what I want. Like learning guitar I’m self-thought, I play already 10 years. Learning chords was boring in the beginning, but now I can play a lot of songs… Currently I want to learn to play Darbuka (goblet drums) because I think it’s a nice addition to my 4 guitars, and to make songs with some bass (it’s portable as well), and I like the high-pitching sound… I got inspired in the Sahara desert by some nomads who let me play on their Darbuka’s.
There is some great wisdom here. I love your insight that we can use jobs as a way to learn new skills, while gathering more information to decide whether it’s the path for us or not. Thanks for sharing, Bert! Good luck with the darbukas.
It’s nice to see these feelings are shared and not just some weird thing I deal with. I tend to see the potential in every skill, and desire to know and master the fascinating things I come across. My way of explaining my dilemma on varying interests is best described with books and reading, I’ve been known to say something along the lines of … “Just think! As you’re reading this book, thousands of other books are being written at the same time! Really good books! Incredibly inspiring and helpful books that grow you as a person and enrich your life! Books that will make you happy, will horrify you, or teach you something you didn’t know just seconds before! Books, books, and more books… taking you to mysterious places, imagined and real while feeding you rich and delicious brain snacks that go down like popcorn and candy… magical and valuable books that I will never get to read. ?”
This wouldn’t be nearly as overwhelming if reading books were my main or only interest… but its really not. I have many pursuits that I am passionate about.
Luckily, I have learned to weed out passing fancies, and have helped some friends learn to stave off those knee jerk commitments to things that are not going to (currently) work for them. The problem is, my need to learn hasn’t waned over time. In fact I think the older I get, the more pressure I feel to DO, as time seems more and more finite.
I have always had a hard time relating to people who have dared to say “I’m bored!” around me. How the HELL can you be bored in this world? Please tell me the secret to boredom!
You’re definitely not alone, Ginger! You highlight a challenge that many of us face– how the fear of missing out can take us out of the moment. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you, Ginger ! I feel the same about the phrase “I’m bored.” I considered it more of a swear word than actual cussing when my daughters & friends were children.(If ever uttered, they were put to work on some chore). I WISH I had known about multipotentialites 3 decades ago instead of a week ago ! Explains my life choices & would have saved me (& everyone else around me) a lot of grief. I am still wondering what I’m going to do when I grow up, in my 50’s. Thing is, I’m never growing up. ? Love the article, makes me feel normal !!
Lauren
Actually, I understood after reading Your article, that I am already using some of technics. I sit with some idea for a while. Slowly read the info about it, check the experiences of others, wait for the right moment.
One more thing what I do is – I take master classes – to try it out for 1 day (2-3 hours) without buying full equipment or materials. I can “taste” this new hobby, and afterward, decide – is it really exciting or was enough with this 1 time. I love to play the hang drum. I had opportunity to play it for 2 days, I enjoyed it every minute, and I know, I will play it again, when I will “meet” some hang drum again.
Thank you for this article. It was really helpful for me right now because I feel like I keep thinking about all I want to do and I get overwhelmed. It does not help that most are full-blown Bachelor’s Degrees!
I’m currently coursing my last year on English-Spanish Translation, and it took me a long time to decide that (like four or five failed attempts). Thankfully, it is something I enjoy a lot, I can see myself working as a translator (which did not happen with Sociology) and it gives me an opportunity to learn about pretty much everything!
I’ve always been interested in languages (a LOT of them), some crafts (crochet, pottery, etc), and I.T. in general, but now? Linguistics, English Lit, Spanish Lit, Media Studies, Cultural Studies, Creative Writing, Sociology, Political Science, Cybersecurity, Graphic Design, Web Design, Game Developing, Programming, Gender Studies, Neuroscience, Psychology, Genetics , Philosophy, Spanish as a Foreign Language (AND I WAS NEVER INTO EDUCATION!), Proofreading (only for Spanish because it’s my native language), and my latest obsessions: Anthropology, Data Science, Bibliothecography, and Archiveology!
This list is heavily skewed towards Humanities, which is not that surprising considering how much they intersect with each other, and I am fully aware that a lot (most?) of them can be self-taught, and I’ve done it for some of them, but it is a lonely thing, and I love studying at University (At least it’s free here, so it’s just a time and energy issue!).
I’m not even sure why I’m writing all this, but it’s so nice to find a community of people who feel the same way as I do! In fact, your TED talk and book (which I’m still reading) were essential for me to stop feeling like something was wrong with me. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything you do. I don’t often comment online but I felt like I had to.