You know that moment when you feel like you’re on the brink of a big change? You had sensed it lurking inside, for weeks or even months. When it finally reaches your consciousness, you are ready for it, practically bursting at the seems to get moving in a new direction. But you’re also NOT ready for it. In fact, there are times when you feel completely unprepared, completely disoriented.
Changes are always some combination of exhilarating and terrifying. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a career change, a lifestyle change, or personal one.
I’m about to embark on some major life changes. After an incredible and revelatory summer, I’ve decided to move back to Portland, Oregon. I will be leaving Chicago in 3 weeks, driving on my own (with Grendel) across the country, across the plains and the dessert and the mountains, stopping for a couple of nights near Crater Lake to witness what I’ve been told is the otherworldly. My relationship will become a long distance one for at least nine months, but if anything, it’s for the long-term health of the relationship. Giving each other room to pursue individual goals and dreams is central to the sort of life and lives we want to lead.
When I arrive in Portland, I will begin setting things in motion for an adventure that I am not yet ready to talk about. Needless to say that it will probably confuse a lot of people (not you guys, I know you will get it). But the “normal” folk out there, the ones who don’t understand how others could possibly not want the same things that they want, the ones who determine worth and social status through the items one possesses or the boxes one has checked off.
Doing your own thing takes courage
When I got my nose pierced three weeks ago, I decided that my piercing would represent courage. Not only does it help me feel strong as I prepare for my new adventure, but making my piercing about courage actually helped me get the piercing done in the first place. Yeah, I know this is going to hurt, but it represents courage! I told myself. COURAGE! (I’m a fan of using psychological tricks on myself whenever it serves me. 😉
What do you need courage for in your life right now? What big changes are afoot?