Hello, my name is Mel and I’m the wrong kind of multipotentialite. Or at least that’s what I thought until I dared myself to write this article. You see, I’m an overachiever. Type-A. People-pleaser. Morning person. Clearly, a person who takes personality tests.
But a multipotentialite is supposed to be a person who can never be defined by one thing. That’s why I feel such kinship with all of you! So how did I end up with a case of multipotentialite imposter syndrome, where I’m slightly afraid that when you know the truth about me, you’ll revoke my credentials? Why have I chosen this as my first article to introduce myself to the Puttylike community?
The truth is, as much as I love being a multipotentialite, the way it can manifest for me looks like a relentless compulsion to keep achieving. That may be what it looks like, but that’s not the whole story of who we are, and why we are that way.
I want to offer hope for people like me who’ve had bad boyfriends deride their list of passions and projects as typical of a soulless “striver.” For those whose diverse interests start out innocently but before you know it, you’re Vice-President of the club or you’re starting a new Certificate in the field. I am with you. I am you. Here’s why.
How my multipotentiality shows up for me
I am a dancer, singer, pianist, public speaker, educator, and activist. I think those are the main ones.
How I ended up with multipotentialite imposter syndrome
I was coming to terms with my identity as a serial overachiever until a bunch of people in a social media group I respect started sharing their Enneagram numbers. All of them were noble, caring, thoughtful, world-changing types…except for one. Me. Enneagram Three. Let’s do some reading about the Enneagram Three together, shall we? Psychology Junkie says that an Enneagram Three’s worst fear is being worthless: “Threes, also called ‘the achievers,’ are driven towards success and accomplishment. They are very goal-oriented and determined – working hard to achieve accomplishment and recognition. They tend to be enthusiastic, confident, and ambitious. On the downside, they can be overly image-conscious, impatient, and obsessed with status.”
WHAT? Who me?
Yes you, Mel.
Am I a multipotentialite because I’m trying to outrun my fear of being worthless?
I mean, the article indicates it’s a possibility, Mel.
Could I be another kind?
No, Mel.
Am I saying that because I care too much about what others will think of a Three?
It’s literally in the description of a Three, Mel.
After that thrilling round of self-talk, I started taking other assessments. My Top 10 CliftonStrengths include the double A’s: I am both Activator (“You can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. You want to do things now, rather than simply talk about them”) and Achiever (“You work hard and possess a great deal of stamina. You take immense satisfaction in being busy and productive”). Because I am a sucker for punishment OR because I believe in data triangulation, I then took the Saboteur Assessment. My top two saboteurs are Pleaser and Hyper-Achiever.
Can you relate? No seriously, I want to know…because I am a people pleaser? Ugh.
Are you an Overachieving Multipotentialite? Here’s how to feel better about it.
If you can relate, it’s my goal to write something that makes both of us feel better. Other people may tell us that our multipotentiality stems from the need to achieve—instead of an intrinsic motivation to endlessly explore our passions—but a wise person once told me to “invite myself to the party.” So let me tell you why you are invited to this multipotentialite party, even if you are the wrong kind. And if you can’t find anyone to talk to at this party, come sit by me.
The upsides
If people make fun of you because you’re a multipotentialite with a resume as long as your arm, tell them (a) to mind their own business, and (b) there is a method to your madness.
But mostly, tell them to mind their business.
Your achievements are artifacts
What if your epic resume is a way to see your complexity and magic reflected on paper? Maybe for you, looking at a record of the things you’ve explored over the years is a way to savour those experiences, giving you another little boost of joy as you remember what it was like to be in that headspace. It allows you to look back fondly on the way a particular passion consumed your mind or gripped your heart until you felt compelled to bring something into this world. Be proud of that multipotentialite yearbook.
Maybe having a record of things you’ve done in the past helps you to let go of old pursuits and clear up some headspace to pursue the new passions you encounter. After all, you can always revisit them later. If you’re like me, you’re into narratives. So you might enjoy the way you can choose from your past projects to tell the story of who you are today and how you ended up there, knowing that you’ll probably be somewhere (or someone) else tomorrow. Looking at all that I’ve done in the past gives me the courage to be even bolder every day about showing my authentic self to the world: “Wow, I forgot that I was a collections agent for a year. Talking to adults used to fill me with fear, and now I use my voice every day without (much) trembling!”
Overachieving multipotentialites are leaders
I define leadership broadly, as simply being what’s needed when it’s not already there. That’s certainly how a lot of my volunteer and work accomplishments ended up on my resume. Embrace it. We need more visionaries like you who see how the world could be different, communicate that glorious vision, recruit others to join your cause…and also get down into the mud and do the work that’s necessary to change the world.
The shadow sides
If we can be real for a second, sometimes multipotentiality can feel like a hunger that can never be satisfied. There are two factors I had to work through to find peace again about who I am and my drive to keep adding accomplishments to my list. I am not a clinician, so I’ll preface this by saying that it is so important to seek out professional support if you are feeling this way. I did.
Explore mindfulness
I know, I know. I was skeptical too. Deep breathing? How’s that going to help? But there was a point that I was so anxious that I stopped being able to sleep for a month. When my new therapist suggested mindfulness meditation for my “anxiety”, I corrected her to tell her that I actually had already been diagnosed with depression. She gently encouraged me to try it anyway.
I started taking the time to breathe and pay attention to my thoughts without judgment. This allowed me to coexist with those thoughts, without them ruining my day. Here I’m referring to the thoughts that try to trick me into pursuing another multipotentialite passion that is more about fearing a lack of credentials (see my next factor) and less about loving my ever-curious self. Now I can meet those thoughts with kindness, and wave goodbye as they fade out without affecting my decisions.
Raise your critical consciousness
The second factor I had to understand and work through was the constant pressure I’ve felt since first grade (seriously, I almost failed junior kindergarten) to have the credentials to earn my place in society as a BIPOC living and working in predominantly white spaces. So often, people with marginalized identities are taught that the reason we are denied opportunities rests with the ‘fact’ that we don’t have the right credentials: “I would give this to you – I really would. It’s just that you need a…” So, a lot of my life has been a never-ending quest to earn the right to exist alongside others who have access to the opportunities that I dream of. What’s interesting, though, is that once I finally get in the door, I am often the most qualified person in the room. Can you relate?
Know that it’s not you. It’s racism. And sexism. And homophobia. And mental illness stigma. And so many others I know you could name because you’ve experienced them more than society acknowledges. It is discrimination. If you are reading this and cannot relate, be an ally to those of us who are kept out of the room, even as we become ever more overqualified to be in the room.
You belong in the room. So celebrate!
So my ever-achieving multipotentialite friends, take heart. It’s not you, it’s them. And even if it is a little bit you, be proud of the contributions you make to this world. If the hunger for more never seems to be satisfied, reach out for support. You are not alone. Find people who lift you up and value your authentic self. (I know a place like that…) Name and celebrate your own value. Only you get to define what your multipotentiality means. What will yours be?
Your Turn
Have you ever worried you’re the wrong kind of multipotentialite? What techniques and concepts have helped you name and celebrate your value? Share your experiences in the comments!
Looking for a comprehensive companion guide for the multipotentialite? Check out Emilie Wapnick’s award-winning book, How to Be Everything.
Chrissy says
Thank you for this!! This is totally me. I actually thought back through my resume and realized many of the things you highlighted!! Sometimes we need to be reminded of our magic…
Mel Atkins says
YES Chrissy you are MAGIC! I’m so glad you could relate. Did you make any new magical discoveries or connections when you thought through your resume again?
Michael B. says
I’m an INTP – the prodigy (investigator)
I can relate to multi-pod-related emotional struggles.
I recently quit social media (facebook, insta, twitter) as I found for me the environment and the software to be toxic. Though I’ve met some great people and that’s part of why I still use messenger.
I’m not sure what my psych diagnosis currently is, but I’ve found it hard to get jobs because of my chronic anxiety, depression, insomnia, recovering from trauma, paranoia, psychotic breaks and substance abuse. social phobia, claustrophobia and mild agoraphobia.
I’ve made strides though. I have a degree in screenwriting, and a grad dip in cartooning.
I’m starting to make films and freelancing. self-studying production design, digital product design, photoshop colouring, penciling and design drawing, 2d animation and fx making. also tinkering with game engines. and I do plan on rejoining the tribe in a few months. and I’m launching a new blog soon via my website.
Mel Atkins says
Hi Michael, with a MBTI nickname like The Prodigy, it’s easy to see why you have managed to contribute so much to so many diverse areas. Good for you for making the decision to leave behind the parts and spaces in social media that weren’t working for you – our mental health comes first!
Em says
Talk about hitting the nail on the head! — I just googled “hit the nail on the head” to make sure it wasn’t some old colloquialism with an offensive origin–
I am currently in the state of figuring out where my multi-pod and anxious/controlling/perfectionist selves converge or diverge and this post definitely spoke to that experience. I constantly feel like I’m having to take every new interest and prove how it integrates into all of my other “things” so I don’t look so scattered. I too have been indirectly shamed for “striving”. The truth is, I love that I love so many things, but I can never figure out how that fits into the world I see around me. And the amount of time I spend investigating the root causes of my choices– Is it actually fear driving me? Am I just trying to be accepted?– is often all-consuming. Thank you, Mel, for giving us the chance to accept ourselves.
Mel Atkins says
Haha Em I find myself doing that quick google all the time now! I can absolutely relate to loving so many things but having trouble figuring out how that fits into the world you see. The good news is that maybe it doesn’t fit into the world you see…because you need some allies to help you create that world first! Or at least that’s what I tell myself 🙂 The other good news is that we can make up as many post-hoc narratives as we need to decide how the constellation of our experiences fit together for us, and for no one else – that’s what makes us so beautifully unique…and vital to this world! I do understand how all of this introspection + self-improvement can get quite exhausting. Frankly, I think it’s quite normal to want to feel accepted. When we pair that with self-acceptance, we’re already more than halfway there. You got this, Em.
Dan Kinch says
I completely relate! I have a file on my computer named “Full CV” that i never send to any company, because it’s comically long and includes a lot of “irrelevant” activities from several years back (e.g. being on the exec board for my undergrad uni’s physics society). It exists solely for me, as my personal “multipotentialite yearbook” (love that phrase btw, thanks for sharing it :D) and a source of nostalgia, pride, and inspiration. It’s also the amoebic parent to all the *actual* CV’s that i include with job applications, which are created by selectively removing various entries from my Big Momma CV 😛 In any case, this was a great article and a great read — it gave me the warm fuzzies, knowing that someone else worries about being an overachieving multipod too 🙂
Mel Atkins says
Dan, are you me? Once I accidentally sent that Full CV (literally what mine is called too) to someone for a job prospect and he gently yet firmly encouraged me to never ever do that again. It gave ME the warm fuzzies to read your post and remember that I’m not alone in this either! Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Katie says
Hi Mel! Can I sit by you?? 🙂 As a “Recovering Over-Achiever” I can relate to all of this. I’m so happy to read your internal monologues and know I’m not alone in this corner! It didn’t get super serious for me until my mid-20s into my early 30s. I was SO stretched thin and burned out! Sadly, my overachieving lead to a neurological incident which lead to my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, and that was my official wake-up call. But because overachieving isn’t something you can just turn off, I’ve spent the better part of the last six years unlearning it. I’m now finding the ideal balance of simply “achieving”! Thank you therapy and mindfulness practice!! I’m truly starting to feel self-worthy again not being SO stereotypically [aka Westernly] “productive” all the time and it feels fabulous!
Thank you for your honesty here. I’m so glad you’re here with us and I can’t wait to read more from you and your experiences, especially from a BIPOC perspective, which makes for a luscious layer of multipotentialite potential!
Mel Atkins says
Katie, you ALWAYS have a place by me! Thank you for sharing your story with our community. I really like the way you put it: Recovering from (empty, unfulfilling, fear-driven) overachievement is not something you can just turn off – “unlearning” is a much better term for it. And yes let me join you in celebration of therapy! I am so happy that you are getting the support you need to start to feel good on a deeper level. Go Katie go!
Dee Scown says
“your achievements are artifacts” this is so true, Mel this is a great article, and thank you Emilie for publishing it. So often I am asked how I “know” some random bit of information, I just say that I am a data junkie.
Mel Atkins says
I’m so glad you can relate, Dee! Got any newly intriguing facts you want to share?
Jen says
It’s like you crawled into my head. I have never even stopped to consider how my achiever strength and multi-pod curiosity were feeding off of each other (love how you described it as an insatiable hunger). My mind is BLOWN. Also, you made me laugh with the “It’s literally in the description of a Three, Mel.” Amazing article!
Mel Atkins says
Oh Jen, isn’t it such a relief to see that there are more people like us than we might have first imagined? So glad you enjoyed this article.
Amanda Ramsay says
This is fascinating. I look at my list of accomplishments as long as my arm, and I see not something that people will judge as “overachieving” or “trying too hard to look impressive”, but rather I see see something people will judge as “half-arsed” and “too undisciplined to ever accomplish anything worthwhile.”
Just goes to show, no matter how people interpret your multipotentiality, they can always find a way to interpret it negatively!
I’ll trade you some of my “I can’t be doing this to look impressive; everyone will think I’m no good” in return for some of you “I can’t be genuinely interested in this; everyone will think I’m too impressive.” 😀
Mel Atkins says
Amanda, thanks for posting so honestly here. I can definitely relate to the judgments you describe – I experienced the pain of those negative interpretations quite often in my 20s. For me, what made the difference was a colleague who practices narrative therapy – he taught me that I get to make up any narrative about my accomplishments that serves me instead of holds me back…and that’s exactly what I did! What story might you be able to craft about what makes you impressive in your own eyes?
Steph says
This was so fascinating to read because it *could* have been me. I feel like I lived this at school and as an undergraduate but it peaked, crashed and burned during my masters degree when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I’m about ten years on from that now and despite flinging my overachieving, perfectionist (possible fellow Three!) self at everything I do, on paper I haven’t really ‘achieved’ much. I sometimes feel like an imposter multipod because ever since that first big mental health crash, I feel unable to actually execute half the stuff I feel drawn to do. Now, is that a healthy realisation that I don’t have to do everything to have worth? Or am I letting down my multipotentialite nature by playing small? I may never know. Thanks so much for the food for thought on this journey.
Eva says
This was so beautifully written. Thankyou and I appreciate your courage to share yourself with us so honestly. I may not be a 3, nor could I say I’ve ever over achieved though I also have a Full CV I have to cherry pick if applying for contract roles ?
At 48 I’m 8 weeks from finishing my fourth formal qualification….while learning wood whittling and belly dancing. For no other reason than I’m interested in learning. Execution or continuation of a skill may be my downfall…