Four thousand weeks is roughly seventy-seven human years, a fact I learned from Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. My maternal grandmother, my mother’s twin sister, and my youngest uncle only lived about 2,600 weeks. If I wrote a similar book, it might boast a title like Two Thousand Weeks: Time Management for the Morbid or This Short Life and What To Do With It or—to borrow from Emilie Wapnick—How To Be Everything Only The Things You Care About Most.
If you find death discussions off-putting, please excuse me. I’m fascinated by the great unknown and all of its accompanying rituals and responsibilities—so much so that when I first stepped into my mother-in-law’s garage full of generational, material, memories, I wondered aloud, “Who’s gonna get rid of all this stuff when you die?” She heard me (oops!) and admitted that she had never really thought about it. A couple years later, she told me a service had been arranged so I wouldn’t have to find a resting place for my husband’s preschool toys, which are currently still locked in a box inside her garage.
I don’t want to pretend that I’ve gotten this whole death thing figured out. Of course, I don’t. It’s for this reason that I’m most curious and open to chat about it.
When I reflect on the brevity of so many family members’ lives, I also contemplate what this means for my own mortality as a multipotentialite. If I live as long as my Grand Aunt Mag (92 years), that means I have about 2,340 more weeks to go. That would be enough time to check off all the projects on my multipod to-do-list, given continued good health and prosperity.
However, if I go the way of my aunt and uncle, then I only have 156 weeks to go before I’m human “toast” (if cremated) or human soil (if I’m replanted as a biodegradable tree pod).
Let me be clear, I want to live as many lives as possible, in this one life I have to live. I drink all the green juices, practice all the yoga poses that don’t require suspending gravity, biohack, meditate, visit doctors preemptively, consume lots and lots of water, and get my fair share of fresh air and sunshine when my city’s lockdown measures permit. But, if three years—or only 156 more weeks—are all that’s in the cards for me, it’s probably time to prioritize my interests.
If I only have 156 weeks to go, I’ve decided for sure that I’m never answering another email. I’m abandoning all bookkeeping tasks—I don’t believe there is an internal revenue/tax authority heaven. (I would NOT advise following me along this route, and I’m certain your accountant wouldn’t either.) I also won’t be moving back to the United States, from where I now live in Europe. So sorry, Mom!
If I only have 156 weeks to go, I would like to spend them staging grand vacations with my children and their children. I want to be remembered as the esoteric grandma who played hide and seek in the Atlas Mountains or dipped tiny grandchildren’s toes in the river near Mosi-oa-Tunya (Victoria Falls). I should probably add swimming lessons to my to-do-list. With emails out of the way, I think I could manage.
I’m two years into shooting a project about my Uncle David who lived about 2,120 weeks. It will likely take me another eight months to produce the remaining photographs, and an additional nine months to bring the photobook to publication. That’s 68 weeks, or 40 percent of the remainder of my hypothetically shortened life. I shouldn’t start a new photobook project if I’m not likely to see it through. I don’t want my family to feel like they have to tie up any loose ends on my behalf. They should fully live their own weeks, doing the things that are most meaningful to them.
In my limited time, I would have more and better sex. And not be too shy about role playing, since it’s the only realistic way I’d get to see all of my multipotentialite careers through. I’m not suggesting I’d turn to licentiousness. Rather, with the fleeting time I have in my body, I’d want to experience all it has to offer me and my partner.
I’d write old-fashioned love notes to everyone who has held meaning for me during my time on earth. And I’d invite them to stupidly lavish soirees themed after the multipotentialite public figures I admire most. A Harlem Renaissance costume party where they would attend as Zora Neale Hurston, Langston Hughes, or Bessie Smith. Or a Stacey Abrams get-out-to-vote fundraising party, to help bring the people of the state of Georgia a new governor.
I never quite got the grasp I wanted on the mechanics of socialism versus capitalism, or any of the hybrid models in between. It feels like there are important lessons to glean there—lessons I should impart, somehow, to the next generation. Since my youngest child enjoys debate, maybe we could start a book club for just the two of us. We’d spend our nights shouting about the pros and cons of various economic systems. He could reminisce about our arguments with his own future children, and those future children could actually do something about income and resource inequalities.
I find it weird that I’m on the fence about social media. Should I delete my accounts? Or share my remaining weeks with the people of the Internet, a smart phone hovering overhead?
Only about 20 percent of the population dies completely by surprise according to Dr. BJ Miller, co-author of A Beginner’s Guide to The End. Most multipotentialites will leave this earth with some inclination that the end is nigh. Whether or not you have advanced warning of your expiration date, consider exploring the idea that you might have less time than you think. Doing so helped me tune into what my priorities really are, and realign my time to honor those values. This exercise could bring you closer to what’s most meaningful to you. If you’ve been putting your big ideas on the back burner, contemplating the reality of impermanence could lead you one step closer to your most authentic dreams.
Your turn
Approach this article interactively. If you feel safe participating, and are in a stable space mentally and emotionally, try this inquiry for yourself. What would you prioritize in your brief multipotentialite life? Let me know in the comments.
Paco says
I work with nontraditional college students. Some of them have been working dead-end jobs for decades because they couldn’t see themselves putting four more years of their lives into school when they were 19. If they only had 208 weeks to live, they weren’t going to spend them in school!
I agree with living life to the fullest and not putting off things you really want to do for the future. However, if you had considered the 156 week mindset before you had undertaken your Uncle David’s project, you may have never started. If you shouldn’t start a project unless you know you’ll be around to see it through, then what’s the point of starting any project, because you may be gone tomorrow? I plan to have dozens of unfinished projects when I die, because I don’t plan to ever stop wanting to try something new.
I think there needs to be a balance between living in the present, and planning for the future. That’s why I took a vacation day yesterday to hike three waterfalls and make five juggling videos, and I’m back in the office today to make money to save for retirement and have health benefits.
Don’t sacrifice the potential 1,560 weeks for the theoretical 156 weeks.
Malika says
Thank you Paco for this perspective! In no way am I suggesting that people should only operate as if they might die soon. But it’s reassuring to know that it’s OK to leave projects unfinished. Starting something has value in and of itself.
Paco says
I think your perspective of living life now vs in the future is also very valuable. I spent too much of my life “waiting” for some future event to happen, and only recently have I started actively pursuing my dreams and goals. I think it’s important to find that balance.
Thanks for this article!
Malika says
Agreed 100%!
Jane says
Thanks for your reflections, Malika. I think it’s an important topic for all multipotentialites. I think the limited lifespan is a really good reflection tool. I learned this from Tara Brach, who I’m sure learned it from many others. What would you do if you had a year to live? A month? A week? A day? It does help one focus on what is really important.
When I was in my early twenties, I had over a dozen interests, and I kept up with them well. When I became chronically ill at 24, I went through a long and sometimes painful process of shedding those interests over the decades as my health went through several dips. Although I have now whittled those interests down to three as I approach my 56th birthday, I know I’m still a multipotentialite because I do a lot of thrashing about missing out on things I want to do, but it goes with the territory of being chronically ill and having an anxiety disorder. It’s really hard to pick just three, let alone one!
So, this reflection helps me to focus and I thank you for the reminder. For me, writing will always be the passion I’ll pick when I’m well enough. I agree with Paco though that we shouldn’t be afraid to have unfinished symphonies. The experience of the new is so important. I truly believe that if we stop learning new things, we are on the way to the end already. Making the now the best we can is the most important, but as Paco said, don’t give up on the comfortable retirement plan either. Sadly, mine’s not looking that comfortable, but I hope to improve it in the background. 🙂
Malika says
Jane — I will save your quote, “…if we stop learning new things, we are on the way to the end already.” Absolutely! Thank you for this reminder.
Dennis Topel says
I’ve lived 3,380 weeks and I’ve hopefully a long way to go. I’ve got plenty of projects lined up and more than likely many more yet undiscovered. So live for today and have lots of projects lined up for tomorrow.
Malika says
Dennis, I did the math. Your 65! Sage advice. I will keep the projects going!!
Gabi says
I love trying new things too much to limit myself.. So I think if I had a limited number of weeks left, I would reprioritize the list of things I want to try before I am dirt and start at the top. Learn to play the flute, finish writing a book (I have several started), go to New Zealand and see the hobbit village, and etc. So now I am off to find where I put that flute.
Malika says
Gabi — I love the flute! I tried a wind instrument once–the ocarina. These sounds feel ancient and luring!
Sarah says
I’m Italian, so…. sorry for my English, that isn’t so good. I’m a life coach (and a mum, a writer, a student, and many other things). When I talk about life I always say that we’re here only for one reason. Be Happy. So I ask me, every day, what makes me happy? I lived 2376 weeks, and maybe I’ll live as many, or, maybe, tomorrow I’ll die. I’d like to learn English better, and Spanish, and Japanese and Sanscrit… and I want to learn to swim, and travel around the world, write more books, and… Oooohhhh there are so many things that I want to do! But… be happy. It’s the purpose of life. So, when I’m in doubt, I ask me: what makes me happier?
Malika says
Yes, swimming is on my list too! It is very important to check in with ourselves Sarah, to see if the things we do and the choices we make bring us joy, peace, happiness, clarity, or closer to a sense of purpose(s).
Luke says
Thank you so much Malika for your article! I have actually been pondering this same idea lately myself. I had a lot of time to think when quarantining during a recent, unfortunate stint of COVID. Getting COVID just made me spiral thinking about if the pandemic would ever end, if we are currently living in the end times with environmental disaster soon approaching, etc. etc. All that to say, I’ve realized that I need to not postpone my dreams and desires and pursue them now. The poems and short stories I want to write, I should write now. The books I want to read, I should read now. The bike trails I want to bike, I should bike now. I want to be hopeful, but I also want to be realistic, and I think there’s a healthy balance somewhere in between.