A Bad Case of Imposter Syndrome

Dear Emilie,

I saw your TED presentation by pure chance and it answered many questions and also asked even more. My whole life has been spent searching for answers to some cutting questions.

I should have pursued a pro Tennis career – instead discovered girls and after heartache, booze and smokes. (Now given up and seized)

I should have gone to College to study a Doctorate in Astro-Physics and work for NASA.

I should be a CEO of a public company by now, by all of my work over the last 25 years when I decided against college and continue in employment.

Instead, I am a self-employed gregarious genius and futurist, IT guru and operational systems creator, using none of those talents, working in oil & gas and subsea for quality engineering and inspections purposes. I ask myself WTF every day and have done for years. I have achieved nothing tangible and feel like I have been a failure. At least according to how Society perceives us all!!!

However…. I have been happily married for 16 years, have a 11 year old daughter who is hugely talented in everything she does (MultiPod mini me) and a six year old son who is plutonium charged and equally another MultiPod mini-mite 🙂

I don’t know why I told you all that, on a public website for all to read…. probably because it was about time that the world knew, but the point is since I have heard and read you, you have pushed a button in me that says GO!!!! My biggest problem has always been self-belief, which is ludicrously funny since I am able to do so much more than most others and that much better with far less experience.

You keep doing what you are doing. Your courage and passion through the TED talk was inspiring and it is about time that all Rennaisencites are recognised for what they all truly are.

Thank you! and I hope we all have a chance to meet you while out and about or at the local Bean for a cup of coffee one day. I certainly would like to .

Best Wishes

Tom

Oh Emilie,

You needn’t worry about Imposter Syndrome, you are one truly unique, REAL and inspirational individual. If you weren’t feeling all of those conflicting emotions I wouldn’t have started listening to you in the first place. You speak my language and give my thoughts a voice…keep it up…you don’t disappoint those of us that like their inspiration in a relatable form and format.

Thanks…Joan

Nope, you’re not alone. I feel like an imposter regularly and often. However, I am blessed with friends who aren’t afraid to challenge me. The next time you feel that your success is undeserved, ask yourself, “Is that really true?” Validation from people who truly get you goes a long way towards warding off those paralyzing imposter syndrome attacks.

You bet. Early this summer I took part in the Independent Handbag Designer Awards with a last minute application. Two days later I´d become a finalist, chosen from well over a thousand applicants. Then I had less more then two weeks to find a manufacturer, have my bag made and shipped to New York (wich itself takes a few days, even express).
I began to develop breathing difficulties and it got so bad I had to be ambulanced to the hopital…So, I had a friend be at the awards ceremony on my behalf and was only able to fly to New York a week later, after my express passport had been issued. I can smile about it all now 🙂

Now, I am doing it again 🙂 I´ve put together a crowdfunding campaign, live now on “we make it” (like the self-fullfilling title ;)) and will attaend a design-fair in November with 10.000 visitors.

I adjusted my mindset and my body-chemistry. I will make it, maybe like a duck: Unruffled on the surface, while paddling like hell underneath 😉

Great post – way to put yourself out there.

I think it’s simply a remnant of the old (post WWII) structure of our society that is built for specialists. Ultimately, at the bottom of it all, it’s about shame.

We learn what is shameful and what isn’t through interaction with our family, culture, schooling and community.

When we are more anonymous, like living in a big city or another country, our shame is safely hidden. Our perception of how we are viewed is temporarily buried.

When the spotlight is on us, the tide has dropped and we’re exposed. The buried beliefs of not being good enough (that we learned – we were not born with this) come to the surface.

Many say that fear is the limiting factor for most being what they want to give to the world. I would argue that it is fear of feeling shame. Fear of being vulnerable.

There’s a reason why people put there skeletons out to the public before they run for office. If you expose it first, no one can expose you. Making yourself completely vulnerable makes you invulnerable.

I feel it all the time Emilie. I literally felt I’m suffering from a disorder. Even what I do helps people on a personal and professional level, I still undervalue myself at various times. Kinda doubting “can I really help someone”!

I, a few month ago, thought about testing the coaching practice that I can help multipassionate entrepreneurs excel in whatever they do.I started putting it out there and met huge rejection that the idea isn’t workable and I should focus on one thing. Unfortunately, this is something I can’t do!

I found you Emilie through a friend and I feel I found my home now and whatever I’m doing is what’s meant to be done without feeling guilty or worried.

And why not put this idea out there again as a blog perhaps. Just thinking since I see it working through you 🙂

If I’ve been Multipotentialite all my life, I’ve also had fear of success: what would happen if ‘they’ found out, anxiety, fear, what used to be called “Cinderella syndrome.” My greatest joy has always been research, learning. My greatest fear: that the product would not be perfect. So I’d be paralyzed. When I finally “publicly” failed it was almost a relief:now ‘they’ know. And it goes on, with each new endeavor…i’m trying with spirituality, different thinking, to get out of the cycle. This tribe may just be the support I need… Thank you, all!

Dear Emilie,

Before you “became a legend” (by the definition of over a certain number of TED talk views), I knew you were one and announced you as one! We met several months ago at a small coffee shop in Portland at a meetup for Multipotentialites. There were just four people present including yourself. It was here in this small meeting that I was able to hear myself talk about “my problem” and upon later reflection, understood it as a blessing.

I struggle with anxiety myself and find that sometimes it can be helpful to look back at the journey in peaceful reflection to understand that, yes… this is where we are meant to BE right now.

WIth gratitude and love,

Emily

I experienced imposter syndrome with my GCSE results this summer. I got 10 A*, the highest in my school, but I didn’t really take much time to be proud of it. I knew I’d done well all round but I didn’t want to make others feel bad about their results.

Now I’m doing A levels and consistently getting As but I still feel like it’s a fluke and I will have to work even harder to achieve a ‘real’ A. Although it gives me a challenge to match up with my GCSEs!

I saw your Ted talk and suddenly a switch went off in my head, followed by the. . .YES! But back to your question. Have I ever had a bad case of the “imposter syndrome”? All the time along with the; “I’m not worthy, I’m not worth.” Growing up I was one of those kids in school that was interested in things other kids weren’t interested in. History, poetry, the arts, it also didn’t help that I didn’t really learn to read and write until I was in my late teens early twenties. Never really focused on one thing but found to many things that interested me. As a result I was bullied all through public school and high school. All my life I’ve felt like I’ve bounced around from interest to interest looking for that one thing that would be my Ah moment. Your Ted talk finally put a name to what I was and finally that Ah moment came. Thank you, I just wish it had come sooner in my life. However we deal with what we deal with and go from there. Find new and interesting mountains to climb.

the imposter syndrome exists but it is an effect of our living in a world where only one thing is accepted for a life! this assumption is wrong..i do not think we should be bothered about what people think… in a company of sheep you will always feel sheepish…and it takes quite an effort within to say no to this feeling…
one reason why this happens is that we are kind od ‘born followers’ and not ‘born leaders’..we find it difficult to leave the flock of sheep…. the ugly duckling poem of my school days is always in my mind…
if one is a multipotentialite (shorten it to m.p.), one needs to drive in the hard message of the UGLY DUCKLING poem..why not believe that WE ARE THE SALT OF THE EARTH…? we need NOT be apologetic or ashamed of it…
A lion in the jungle is the king of jungle only by self- appointment, not by any election or consensus among all animals..swayameva mrugendratha.. is the sanskrit phrase for it….

Where to start…

I discovered the TED talk a couple of weeks a go and it most certainly was a breath of fresh air – I felt a little less peculiar, a little lighter and a little more identified: I have an identity IN being someone who doesn’t have a clear cut role. Yes, more than anything it felt good to be able to attach myself to an identity – I felt, and continue to feel a little less lost.

Having said that!…I’m at a crossroads right now. First I’m blessed/perpetually torn, as many multipods are, between many different interests. I surf and feel the need to be outside a lot of the time, I paint, I like to read, I design jewellery, I’m trying to teach myself graphic design, I am a qualified yoga teacher and am attempting to maintain a devoted practice so I can advance my level and knowledge – I’ve also been travelling for the past 2.5 years – this more than anything has been my ‘agenda’ during this time. I teach yoga and English (also a qualified English teacher) to fund my travels. Lastly I’ve also just started writing and am attempting, with inadequate experience, to launch a blog on travelling with diabetes as I am a type 1 diabetic.

Sometimes my urge to adequately satisfy and dedicate time to each of these things leaves me paralysed. I waste time trying to decide which one(s) I’m going to work on today, how to manage my day most efficiently, and almost always I’m left with a sense of guilt due to feeling underachieved or for neglecting whatever I didn’t attend to that day.

Altogether, this perpetuates this idea your talking about, of feeling like a ‘fraud’. I feel I’m only scratching the surface of each – if people new my heart was split in 13 different ways, it would be easy to accuse me of not being ‘serious’ or ‘commited’ – I tell myself that a lot – and I guess a lot of the time I never feel truly achieved or able to claim my capabilities in any of these hobbies or professions.

I’m trying to make a decision right now re. going back to school in order to get some more specialized and practical experience (now I feel teaching English isn’t my passion). Also, so I can knuckle down and really focus on one project/area. BUT, the process of deciding is killing me. On a daily basis I go from landscape design, to psychology, to marketing, to carpentry, to biology, to law and back again. Because I don’t have that clear cut passion, I 1) Don’t have an obvious pull or gut feeling in one direction and 2) I would continue to feel like a ‘fraud’ in whichever field I choose. Plus, how do I stop myself from thinking about the other things I should/could be doing?

I think fear governs a lot of this, but I feel you’re right: at the crux of it, is this problem of feeling insincere. How to cultivate sincerity when your interests and passions are fractured? The multipotentialite dilemma.

I wish you had a vote up (only) on this page to let everyone know how well their comments were received by those of us who couldn’t have said it better.

Hey Emilie

Yours is the second message I have received TODAY about The Imposter/Faker/Fraudster Critter, and I am So thankFULL. I needed to hear them. Both messages/posts have come from women I admire and inspire…thats you. Until I found you and your wise words about Multipotenialite folks like me, I was deep in my own quicksand of uncertainty and self doubt….I was weird, didn’t fit the usual box.

YES I know about the fraudster, she is a part of me. She landed with all her bags on my door step yesterday, telling me to wake up to myself, who am I to ‘offer’ anything new or different….I’ll get found out!

This time I welcomed her in with all her bags, made a cup of tea for us and asked her what she was scared of. After all, the Fraudster feeds on my own inner fears and insecurities. I won’t go into the inner dialogue but I offer you this. When I welcomed her she calmed down. I listened to what she had to say and made a few notes and offered her my ‘caution’ as I progress through yet ANOTHER business that I am about to launch. She is like an over protective mother who hasn’t cut the apron strings….so I have to.

Its super scary a LOT of the time for me. Very rarely do I ride the wave of success all the way into the beach. Im more like “wow a dolphin- I’m off”. This time I want to succeed. My Fraudster can come with, as long as she know the rules.

Emilie you have changed my perception of myself…something a Masters in psychotherapy could only chip away at. Your insights are pure gold. Your honesty is edible and scrumptious….Thank you 🙂

I am bouyed up being a multipod! years have gone by drifting, fitting in skillsets, that I discarded once I understood it. Yes, feeling imperfect in the face of the single ability/career people; imposter syndrome may the start of a nice label, agree Beth now I can step back and work it out. And, James, now I can be 2nd in the 5km or no 1 in the tai chi I teach. No 2 in the hydroxy technology I innovate.
We deserve enrollment in this tribe…and others.
Thanks Emilie!

Thank you, Emilie, for putting yourself out there. I have struggled for my entire life with being told “you have so much potential! You just need to pick one thing and FOCUS!”

Your TED talk was transformative. Oh, hell no! I DON’T need to focus on one thing forever. (The stuff of nightmares!)

Thank you for driving home to me that there is nothing wrong with me for having interests all over the map.

And oh, boy! The imposter syndrome. I know that one well. My current occupation is massage therapy, and I’m good at it. I know I’m good at it. And yet I often feel like I don’t know enough and that everyone knows it.

It’s ridiculous how we convince ourselves that if we keep going we will eventually be “outed”. Said there is a anti-potentialite posse out there collecting evidence against us, just waiting until the right moment to pounce.

I’m a new blogger, and I question the value of what I have to say, in spite of all evidence that belies that notion (like how often people gasp when I share something g personal and say…”Oh, my God! Me, too! Thank you!”)

As for any future blog posts that may bomb, I’m going to tell both of us that some things you share are for others. And some things your share for yourself. Sometimes you can’t get to the stuff that someone else needs until you wade through the boring stuff that’s in your way. Can we make a deal to let those posts be what they need to be, until we get to what they can be?

You rock my socks. <3

In Wikipedia they give the following definition: “Impostor syndrome (also spelled impostor syndrome, also known as impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome) is a term coined in the 1970s by psychologists and researchers to informally describe people who are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. Notably, impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women,although some studies indicate that both genders may be affected in equal numbers”.

Mine comment: Success can be overwhelming and also be unexpected. I’m not sure that people always are rated, because they have exceptional skills. I don’t thing that is always the case. People have sometimes or instead maybe many times the luck that they happen to do the things or says the things what other people wanted to hear, at that given moment. There is nothing ‘impostor’ about that. You have also people whom at the hit of the moment are not recognized by their talent or the strive they have. Everything bolls down to economics. We live in a supply and demand world-society. If you happened to be selling a product or services that people wants at that moment, than you may became rich, but if not you will became/ remain poor. This doesn’t means that quality of the product or services you sell is bad. This doesn’t means that the product or services you are selling has any quality atoll. Its says nothing about the quality of your skills. It does only means that people are looking for something else, what you at that moment aren’t selling, which your services. Thus ‘impostor syndrome’ is directly a consequence, you may say the effects of how our capitalistic system works for mostly of us. Emilie, don’t take it personal. It is just how the economics system works for us or in other cases, it doesn’t work for us. It is the system! There is well one thing. They are people who knows how the system works and there is people who don’t. These are the two extreme groups of people, but in between of these two there is more possible than we ever will know in life. Emilie, feel good about yourself that is the most important!

Great post emilie!

Allow me to add a bit to this topic (and forgive me my english, I am european).

The bad news… the impostor syndrom is a feeling of shame / ashamed (caused by clustering feelings and event in the past). Emotions are not problems that can be solved, but create conditions that can potentially cause problems. There are no fixes to emotions, and you
can´t grow completely out of it, or even force yourself to not be exposed to it. It resides within you. There are two good news… the first is that there are ways to deal with impostor so that it cause less problems and frustration in your life. This will require self-development and therapy. Secondly, discovering your own best-practice to dealing with imposter, can be turned into an advantage. A danish poet (Soren Ulrik Thomsen) said…”I have lived for 35 years, and need as many to get over the first”.

When you, focused and determined, work with your own personal development from the perspective of impostor, you will within months gain a self-awareness that allows you to accept yourself, let go of the past and most importantly you will find and use ressources to move forward and jump into things in life, and become capable of finding and using ressources that you normally wouldn´t develop or use without impostor. It stretches your potential further and empowers you to use your resourcefulness in alternative new ways.

Impostor is a product of your indentity, being your personality, your intelligence and your experience combined. Research (Dunning and Krugers) shows that highly intelligent people have a realistic perception of their own performance and potential, but compared to a les intelligent person, they have tendency to underestimate themeselves, and overestimate others… ”when it’s so easy for me, it must be easier for everyone else, or I must have been cheating”. Every time we do things better than others (understanding, arguing, analyzing etc), how does it feel to be set straight by someone (regardless of age) who feels and acts as if they know better than us ?? Either you fight against it, or you become insecure and wonder whether they are right. I have done both. Other research reveals a connection between imposter and family connections. Poor or no support between family members. Poor or no openness in regards to emotions. High degree of anger and conflicts in the family.

Having worked with myself on this topic for two years now, I can definitely confirm that there is hope if you are willing to work hard and over time. There are lots of things you can do to minimize its degree of interfearance in your life, learn to overcome it in most situations, and even take advantage of it. Here are some of them…

– Identify it the phenomenon depth
– Describe in detail how your particular version of the syndrom express itself.
– Let go of the past – feel, understand and accept how it impact on you and and more
importantly understand what it has protected you against.
– Visualize – allow the facemask of the imposter syndrom to fall by gradually stepping into
the light.
– Rewire yourself – turn and twist all the negative thoughts to something positive and say it
out loud to yourself.
– Trust your potential – by embracing the gift you have received, strengthen it and use it
every day.
– Use appreciative inquiry to acknowledge the progressive steps you make and recognize
and appreciate yourself.
– Express yourself – trust that what you think and feel is right.
– Get feedback from others to gain a realistic image of yourself.

I am not into clichés and pocket philosophical advice, but believe me, these steps are worth exploring and incorporating as they help you gradually step out of your comfortzone, and away from the anxiety that holds you back. I have never had any problems allowing my vulnerability to show, and this fact actually makes me even more exposed to the imposter syndrom when I meet people who could “potentially” bring it forward, but my focus on overcoming the syndrom with those steps, has made me experience an entirely new and unknown vulnerability… and to express that. Hope this helps some… if just a little, I am as happy as can be.

Take care everyone!

Luis

When I became an engineer, I felt like an impostor. When I became an artist, I felt like an impostor. So, I spent a long time reflecting on why this is.

I think it’s the thing we feel instead of feeling afraid to begin something new. As recognition grows and we have a metamorphosis from dabbler to expert, the doubt we feel can be too much. But, I think, it’s not so much from the recognition (though as an introvert, I agree that recognition can be hard) as it is from the need to change our own mindsets about ourselves. We’re so used to seeing ourselves–identifying ourselves–as beginners (and, personally, I love to live in that space) it can be a struggle to realize that we are quite proficient when we are proficient. Oddly, letting go of our own belief about ourselves can be far more frightening to us than starting something new.

At least, that’s what I’ve come to believe. But, your story may be different (that’s how we role, right?). And, that’s totally cool.

In the end, my story is just an “outreach” to let you know you’re not alone in feeling this way. I’m right there with you–and, I suspect there are a lot of others in this space, too.

Thanks for your honesty and for sharing. And, hugs for the meanwhile, while you make your way through this. =)

I think Imposter Syndrome comes out of a rigid, judgemenal culture. The illusion that our culture perpetuates about “towing the line”, takes the experimenting life off the table every time. I tell people I was born with a butterfly nature and that I need a new color, fragrance, new story, etc frequently… And that the world must need me to be this way because I’m this way. Children who come into my studio ask me, ” How did you learn all these different things?!?!” or “how is it possible to know so many things?” And I say I feel trapped in jail if I only get to stay with one thing. The goal is to remain enthused about life itself… One day all of us leave it all behind anyway… Each of us must choose for ourselves one now at a time. So at 60, I can tell you, there is a point when you just aren’t willing to feed the monster with your self doubt anymore. Like you have done here, you get scared, you expose it to the light of day, you notice usually someone resonates and watch it all turn to dust.??

I am an Imposter! But not quite like the guy who inspired ”Catch me if you can”

Actually I am a Kaleidoscope (read the following based on an actual story which took place 20 years ago).

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-am-multipotentialite-valerie-pinard-jain?trk=prof-post

You’ve inspired me.

Dear all

I didn’t realise ResearchGate not open to all. Paper about The Developing Professional is also available from University of Derby Open Access Repository from http://derby.openrepository.com/derby/handle/10545/550636

Printed version not open access so this is a pre-print version.

Best wishes

David

Emilie,

I don’t think you’re complaining about success. And I won’t offer praise and reassurance.

However, it is a true statement that I’ve commented on more blog posts on this site in the last three weeks than I have on any web site I’ve ever read. Which speaks to how close to the bullseye this topic has hit for my personality.

Your story reminds me of something I’ve noticed about myself this past year. I want to be noticed for my talents or accomplishments by friends and peers. I imagine it will make me feel accepted, included and valued. But as soon as I receive that recognition or praise, I instead feel isolated and disconnected. I feel people are putting me on a pedestal above others in a way that makes me feel disconnected from whatever social group, rather than included in it. It’s a strange reaction, I know.

Anyway, thanks and keep up the work. (“Good” is implied. No compliments, as requested!)

It’s definitely the outside influences at work when we as multipotentialites question ourselves and journeys. For the most part, from my perspective, I can tell you this path while becoming more comfortable as time passes,is still faced with a culture that doesn’t necessarily respect it or lend itself to it.

I can usually shrug it off but sometimes it takes more effort.

Earlier today, for example, I was watching a show on Bravo called Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles. The show follows around several real estate agents who are representing clients buying and selling million dollar plus properties. What I found interesting is that this is all they do and the do it 24/7 and it appears to me it’s more like they’re addicted. Their work is their drug. To this I can’t relate.

I’m just not that type of person; however, they do fascinate me as I suspect I would to them.

Hi Emilie & all.

Like many here I enjoyed and really identified with the TED talk. And identified just as much, if not moreso, with this blogpost. As someone diagnosed with clinical depression and generalized anxiety my inner critic is pretty constant, well-developed and insidiously clever. So impostor syndrome is second nature to me. But at this point, so is bowling straight through it.

As a freelance technologist these days Imposter Syndrome comes up often. I worry that I can’t come through how my clients want me, fret that I don’t know what I should know to be in this job or working independently, and fear that my next move with a client project is going to screw something up royally. But being a freelancer has a benefit: there is literally no one else to do my job. There’s no one to pick up my slack, no one I can defer to or hope jumps in and picks up the ball that I drop out of fear. If I don’t do it, down to the smallest detail, it doesn’t get down. So there’s no choice but to buckle down and do it.

Part of this is thanks to my last job – I spent ten years as an emergency services dispatcher, taking emergency calls and coordinating the appropriate response as literally the only person in the station. I’m an excellent multitasker, thankfully, and that lended itself toward becoming known as an excellent dispatcher. I handled massive (for our scale) emergencies in a relatively deft manner. House fires, miles-long brush fires, criminal calls like assaults and break-ins. My reputation preceded me as a really good, dependable desk jockey.

And then the Fear hit. What if I don’t live up to that reputation? What if I take a call and don’t handle it in the right way, miss a detail, fumble a question? What was I doing here in the first place? My personal life was a wreck, I couldn’t even handle my own stuff. Now I was handling people at the worst moments of their lives, I was coordinating a dozen or more responders, handling all the documentation that might have to go to court. AND I had earned this great reputation – it set me up, like the above, for some huge Imposter Syndrome moments.

But just like freelance life – I was the only one in the office there, too. If I didn’t do it there was no one to pick up my slack. No one to drop the ball and kick it towards. So every single 911 call I swallowed it all and did everything I could because I had to show up.

So I keep showing up now. I’ve still got the imposter syndrome days and I’m by no means perfect. I bend myself seven ways to Sunday in order to get things done sometimes, and I go way beyond my knowledge base. But I do it because no one’s going to do it for me, and –

because there’s such amazing satisfaction in proving that inner critic wrong.

Thank you, Emilie! As described above in quite some comments I found your wise words from the TED talk very comforting. And finally I got an idea how I could actually tell people what my profession was – being an creative thinker, manager, artist, journalist, actor and so on at the same time – being a multipotentialite. That’s already enough for a big thank you. But this article deserves another massive thank you: I didn’t know there was a thing called imposter syndrome. This information blows my mind. It suddenly explains my anxieties, exam nerves and sudden almost panic attacks when I try to finish things I’m actually good at. This puts a high stress level on those things that I do really care about and I don’t want to fail at, resulting sometimes in avoiding them all along or having brain locks that make it impossible to produce the usual quality. Thank you so much, I know now that there will be a way to change my – obviously existing – imposter syndrome since cognition is always the first step. (And I guess I just found another topic to investigate as far as it goes…)

A post – (I NEVER post – Anywhere > till I found Emilie).

A Multipotentialite;

Knows that there is no action without impact
Knows that there is no manifestation without friction
Knows that there is no galactic ‘right’ answer
Knows that they don’t know anything (impostor syndrome) – all we know is only a part of what is already truth and without the whole truth – we feel more on the ‘uninformed’ side.
A multipotentialite should be on the look-out that they are not both experiencing impostor syndrome, but perhaps also experiencing arrogance. Much like an accounting sheet, much like action and externality; modesty and hubris are both part of the human dialect.

This, being on the ‘uninformed’ side seems to be the root cause of ‘impostor syndrome’. – The multipotentialite wants to be absolutely informed and feels like an impostor until he/she is ‘the’ authority. Partly fear of being out-gunned and largely awareness of the mysteries that are our proverbial carrot.

Why do I believe I am a multipotentialite? – Fair question isn’t it?
Because all my life I’ve been unable to face the dread of any specific definition or pursuit as a long-term commitment – no matter how attractive it might seem at the time.
Whatever I’ve done, I’ve excelled in, I was usually as capable (or would come to be) as the experts (in those) areas which I endeavored.

Yet I have seldom been a self-advocate. The impostor syndrome coupled with my philosophies tends towards the un-proclaimed. Weighed by self-doubt. – or that- my perceived sense of value is not ultimately reliant on other people’s opinion.
A degree seems not worth much until you show it to someone else – and that person is expected to be impressed. I am only now, late in life, seeking a simple degree – but ‘most’ of what I’m being taught are things I’ve already taught myself. And little of it encompasses my current compulsions.

The more I look to perceive myself as a ‘defined’ or unique human experience, the more I feel I am on the wrong track. The more I identify with Multipotentialism, the more I’m cautioned to stop being so arrogant and self-important.
Emilie mentioned that earlier in the Renaissance age, multipotentialism was valued. This helps me feel like my familiarity with this concept is not unjust, but leaves me wondering if any definition whatsoever might still serve more to restrict rather than liberate.

Yes, yes and yes. So familiar. Feelings of being an imposter and an expert at the same thing and at the same time.