Dear Puttylike reader, this is a classic Puttylike post. Meaning, it’s from the early days–from before I really found my voice or knew what I was doing. I’ve chosen to keep this post online for the benefit of Puttylike readers who have worked their way backward through the archives. And also to highlight the fact that everybody starts somewhere! xo, Emilie
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I’ve spent most of my life searching for that dream job- the one that would make me happy and fulfilled forever.
I used to imagine myself in various positions. Sometimes I’d try them out, other times I’d talk to someone in the profession to see what the day-to-day reality was like. But no matter how interesting they looked, I just knew that something would inevitably happen a few months or maybe a year in…
I’d get bored.
I know from experience that jumping around between interests is something I do regularly- every few years or so. It’s a pattern. I get really curious about something and I dive in with almost infectious enthusiasm. I work hard till I’ve reached a certain level of mastery and then I lose interest and move on to the next thing.
This used to worry me. I would stumble onto something new and think: maybe this is it, maybe this is the thing I’ve been looking for, the thing I’m meant to do! But sure enough, the pattern would continue.
Conventional Wisdom tells us boredom should be endured
People really do seem to believe that working an unsatisfying job is simply something that we all just have to deal with- that it’s part of life. I’ve heard things like: “no job can be all fun all the time,” and “we all have to do things we don’t like sometimes”.
But why? Why??? Maybe this is radical of me, but I do not believe that we should be required to spend the majority of our time here doing boring, menial work that doesn’t matter to us. It’s a complete waste of time. Time! Which is the one thing we cannot get back.
Am I really just self-sabotaging?
Getting back to my pattern of enthusiasm followed by boredom… What is that? Do I secretly believe myself to be ‘unworthy of happiness’?
I’m sure others have thought it. I mean, I’ve gotten shocked and pitying looks from people when I explain how after three years of law school, I’m not planning on doing the bar or being a lawyer… ever.
But you know what? I’m okay with that because I’m super excited for my next adventure. I know that I’m not self-sabotaging. You know what I’m doing? I’m listening to myself.
It might not look like it to the outside world, but I have indeed completed something. In fact, I got precisely what I had come for: a certain level of mastery.
And that’s what drives me. I don’t need to pursue one job for life. I feel fulfilled simply by tackling a new challenge and becoming proficient at it. That’s all I need. What drives me is the challenge of mastering something new. Once that’s gone, I have no further reason to stick around.
And you know what’s cool? Being proficient at many different things has it’s benefits. Even just running Puttylike, I find myself using most of the skills I’ve acquired from jumping around over the last ten years. I get to write, do web and graphic design, audio production (as I work on my forthcoming podcast), and even lawyerly type things like registering Puttylike as a business entity or applying for a trademark.
We should listen to our bodies
Maybe boredom a purpose. Maybe it’s our body’s way of warning us that we’re in danger. Maybe when we get that feeling that it’s time to MOVE, we should listen to ourselves.
Perhaps this pattern of jumping from interest to interest is not some sort of shortcoming, but a gift. I mean, we get to experience so many different things! How wonderful.
Chris Guillebeau says that “the time to leave the best job in the world is right before you get tired of it”.
And I agree. Lets stop perceiving the need to change direction as a shortcoming because it’s actually a really awesome trait to have.
!! 🙂
haha thanks nania. 🙂
Hi Emillie,
You know you’re kind of right. I read in one of your comments on another post, that you probably should censor your post, because ‘traditional’ individuals might be out there that also read through.
Yes, I think I agree with you.
Though a “multi-potential” like you, I actually think there are still individuals that would want to work at one job the whole time. Probably, this information should be targeted at those that feel they’re stuck in an existing occupation, or vying for available openings, because if we all had to go work for ourselves, organizations and the way they exist, would not have existed in the first place.
The bane to this was if we desired to own a car, we’d probably have to go build one for ourselves, learning all the required skills along the way.
Conclusively, organizations need employees as much as employees need organizations, and also society needs organizations to have employees that would get large significant tasks done.
Like those of us considering entrepreneurship, one way or the other, we might want to hire employees who, on the sideline, are considering starting their own businesses.
Are we going to decide to do everything ourselves (or hire independent contractors, which in some cases, it is not possible), or are we going to be continually evaluating the motives of our prospective employees, and if they are deciding to leave in a year or two i.e. after they have accumulated enough funds to start their business.
What about firms that really do require lots of hands? It is worth thinking about.
Sincere regards.
Studies show that boredom should not be endured; it’s bad for the brain, especially in young people. And you don’t have to pick the job you’ll love for the rest of your life for a lot of reasons. The best one is this: if you’re smart you love to learn. Once you learn something, it’s time to go. Or you can teach it and then go. How do you find that job? You look for an ‘A’ boss, and you avoid a B boss. Not easy, I know, but worth it. An A boss hires A+ people and lets them fly. They make him look good. A ‘B’ boss hires ‘C’ people because he can’t stand the competition.
Head over to amazon.com and look at the reader’s comments for Refuse to Choose. I’m not pitching the book. Just reading the reviews will make you realize there’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, you’re a very lucky person.
Barbara, hi! Wow, I’m actually kind of honoured that you wound up on my site… I have indeed read Refuse to Choose. I ordered it a few weeks after launching Puttylike when I was doing some research into what else was out there. I’ve actually been meaning to email you… Maybe I’ll do that now. 🙂
Really good point about A bosses. It’s definitely way better to have a boss who recognizes your abilities and gives you freedom. From what my friends who are on the job hunt tell me though, I get the sense that a lot of people don’t feel like they can afford to shop around for an A boss right now. They just take whatever they can get. Hopefully that’ll change. (My personal tastes do still tend to run toward self-employment though.)
I agree totally!
I found this post via a tweet from Barbara Sher — yeah, both she and her books are great!
I LOVE this post and something I can really relate to. I’ve done a lot of cool and interesting things in my life….and though some people envied it, others quietly gave me that “oh, when are you going to get ON with your life” kinda look. Like when was I going to grow up and finish something?!
But I’ve finished many things….business school, nutrition school, masters degree and yes jobs. I listened to myself when it was time to go. I’ve left jobs when they were ‘easy & safe’ yet looked really good. But the challenge and/or fun was no longer there.
I gave up job opportunities (more than one!) that looked good on paper, probably would have been nice gigs for a bit — but it just didn’t feel right at the time. So I turned them down.
Geez, I could write a book on it — yet Barbara Sher has done it with Refuse to Choose!
So thanks for this post. We are smart — we love challenges — and because we don’t follow the ‘norm’ doesn’t mean we’re doing something wrong. Like you outlined, we’re doing things right!
Hi Dinneen, that’s great that you listen to yourself and leave when it’s time to go. And see, look how many cool things you’ve gotten to experience! Also interesting point about passing up opportunities that ‘look good on paper’. I’ve gotten into the habit of asking myself ‘why’ a lot. As in, am I making this decision because other people will approve or am I making it because it’s something that I ACTUALLY want.
Good stuff. Thanks for the feedback.
Hey Emilie,
I love this, it’s a summary of the development of my thinking over the last year or so, so thank you!
Your thoughts resonated with me partly because I did a law degree and have no plan to become a lawyer. People think I am mad (I’ve been in a job interview where the first question was ‘So why aren’t you a lawyer?’ which just convinced me that they weren’t the type of company I wanted to work for!
A little add on to what you were saying about experiencing different things. It makes you flexible, adaptable and useful in helping an organisation change. Just the fact of having been in different environments lets you see other ways of doing things and a A boss will let you share your thoughts on how to make things better.
Hey Claire,
I know exactly what you’re talking about in terms of the law stuff! All last year, my classmates were doing recruitment, applying for jobs all over the country and talking non-stop about this firm and that firm… Meanwhile I was writing scripts and casting for a web series my friend and I were thinking of producing. Haha… I sort of learned not to talk about my plans too much with the hardcore law students, because most of them didn’t get it at all. It was like the idea that we could actually be something OTHER THAN a lawyer was completely outside their reality.
But you know, I’ve heard story after story of people working at law firms for five years and then quitting because they were so unhappy. I figure, why waste five years, if I already know that it’s not what I want?
I think young people believe they should be the boss within one year of taking a job. They don’t know much and have no experience. When they don’t get promoted to the top immediately they leave expecting more. This process repeats itself over and over until they are 35 and their resume is screwed up. My suggestion is research your first job before you take it. Make that job awesome which you should be able to do if you are all that you think you are. Remember you are nothing when you start out and no one owes you anythingp
Thanks for the comment Jim. I agree that research is a really good idea before taking a new job. It certainly takes time to work your way up and if you know for sure that that particular position is what you want, then I don’t think it’s nearly as painful to “pay your dues”.
The problem that I think many of us face is that there are a lot of different things we want to try. Committing to doing grunt work for years before we get to experience just one of those things can feel quite painful. I also personally think that it’s ok to believe in yourself and your abilities. I agree with Barbara above when she said that a smart boss will encourage you to use your talents right from the get go.
Hey Emilie,
listening to your body is ESSENTIAL. And in today’s age, it has become easier than ever to be your own boss and create your own dream job.
It’s all about courage, and taking the step into uncertainty.
Luv the creative fire here 🙂
I completely agree. It’s an exciting time.
Thanks for swinging by Mars, I dig your work!
What if I like my job and want to continue working at it? Does it make me a boring, uninteresting, useless individual?
I thought “trying to be cool” was something considered really lame according to one of your posts.
Of course not, Ben! If you like your job, that’s awesome. I was just writing about my own experience. We should all do what works for us… If you’re happy, then that’s all that matters.
Right on Emilie!
We’re wired to expand and grow and self employment offers many of us the best way to do that. One job for life isn’t “normal”.
A Bureau of Labor report published September 2010 looked at the number of jobs that people born in the years 1957 to 1964 had from age 18 to age 44. They had an average of 11 jobs from ages 18 to 44.
So there’s no need to fear about making the “right” career choice -you’re going to make many of them!
Hi Ann,
Interesting stats! Thanks for sharing those. And I agree, there truly is a misconception out there that the career choices we make in our early 20s are permanent. Couldn’t be further from the truth.
Thanks for the comment!
Hey Emilie!
Awesome post you’ve got here. The both of us truly understand and agree with what you’ve said here. It’s the thought that there’s something else to learn and look forward to that keeps us going.
Tariq has been through so many jobs as well. Ranging from practising Law to being a professional photographer. Now he’s trying to create his own dream job and tap into several income streams and experiences. I on the other hand, just jumped from doing biotechnology in uni to teaching english. Now I’ve also joined Tariq in creating our dream job together.
We especially like the part about our bodies giving clues to us. After all there’s a reason why we’re made with so many different skills implanted in us and a great sense of curiosity.
We look forward to reading more from you! Thanks for the article!
Shaheera
Hey Shaheera and Tariq,
It sounds like you guys are a wildly varied and talented duo! It’s so cool that you’re just going for it– following your heart through life and finding ways to incorporate your various interests into your lives. I love that.
Thanks for the lovely comment and encouragement!
Great post, Emilie! I completely empathize with you, as someone else who has a lot of creative energy and needs to feel intellectually stimulated in order to thrive.
My sense is that many people are like this, but fear is what stops most of us from taking that leap toward livelihood that better uses all our gifts. A few years ago I was laid off from my job, and now I see it as one of the best things that ever happened to me. I didn’t have time to sink into my fears, I had to think on my feet and create a new way of bringing in some income.
The past three years haven’t always been easy, but I’ve always felt challenged and ‘awake,’ in the biggest sense of the word.
And, it’s interesting we live in times when so many external systems are falling apart, like our economy. The world we live in is changing and I believe it will become much more mainstream for people to be creating their livelihood rather than relying on big companies to employ them. I hope through blogs like yours and mine we can help shepherd people to that new way of living and decrease the fear around this transition.
Thanks again for the great post! I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Hi Maia,
It’s so interesting how many people who are now self-employed view getting laid off as one of the best things to happen to them. Jonathan Mead over at illuminatedmind.net talks about how you have to be “hungry”. I think when there are no other options, that’s when we step up and make things happen. And you’re right, when things are comfy (even though possibly unsatisfying), there’s less of an impetus to change your life. It’s way scarier when it’s choice, instead of something forced upon you.
I hope you’re right about more people creating their own opportunities. I think that would be so fantastic! It irritates the hell out of me when I see a friend applying for jobs just because they “should”, when I know their heart isn’t in it.
Thanks for the comment Maia. Love what you’re doing over at The Liberated Life Project!
Thanks, Emilie! I look forward to connecting more…
I think this is great. I admire your ability to listen to yourself like that. I am doing it more, yet I have died many slow deaths staying around in jobs waaaaaay past the boredumb, for, as you said, that is what we are taught.
I love your attitude of making something great with how you are, rather than try and force yourself in a place you don’t.
It reminds me of the ugly duckling.
I had thought that of myself here and there and then dismissed it, for I wasn’t able to connect with the fellow robots, and felt, if I can’t even connect with these people that way, how will I ever connect with amazing exciting inspired people, well, now I know that answer 🙂
Wow! I thought I was the only one. I feel like in todays society you are judged at how long you stay with the same job…its supposed to show stability. I think that works for some because they never question it, they don’t know they have other options. The few lucky ones are the ones that go against todays society and realize they do have a choice. I chose, life is too short, why not experience and learn as much as possible. I have done everything from a being a make up artist to a fireman, to a vet tech,and oh yes, a carni. I look at it this way, if my life was a book, it would be interesting.
I know I’m coming to this post late, but I just found out about you from the conference call today with Jonathan Meade. I’m speechless basically. I can’t believe I’ve found “people like me”… All my life I’ve had to battle not feeling good about myself for just these above reasons. Constantly wondering what was wrong with me. Now I actually may find a little support at 57 years of age?
I’ve made an income at many creative endeavors in life. I’ve been a musician/vocalist, a graphic designer, a chef, worked in the film industry, been a horse caretaker, a gas station attendant, a maid, a dishwasher, a wanderer… well you get the picture….and now….? Photography. People, even good friends say the same things about me. “When are you going to settle down, grow up, etc.” I’m very glad to have found you today.
Yours words are a breathe of fresh air. My whole life I have started things and have been seen to ‘not finish anything’. I just want to move oin to the next idea. The next project. Wow, how inpisring that thre is a whole community out there. A whole movement, no less. Hello World – I am no longer the failure I thought I was. I am like y’all – normal :):):):) (thats many happy faces)
Wow! You’ve put word to word to thoughts which hv been in my mind like a splinter.. always burning.. always questioning. My simple thinking is this.. when i am at the end of my career and look back at all the things i ve done and achieved would i be falling short? Will it matter how i did a particular thing for so long or so less? Wouldn’t it be great if i could fill the pages of my life with as enduring, exhilarating and fascinating things as possible!
Thank you so much for helping me explain me! My sweetheart is a totally wonderful, driven man. He’s basically had one career path his entire life and he has loved it! He truly doesn’t understand where I come from when I say “I don’t want a corporate job” or “the last thing I want to do for the next 8 years is one job for one company, doing the same thing over and over – please just kill me now if I really have to do that”, etc… ((sigh!))
I’ve been talking non-stop about what I’ve been reading and how it relates to me so well! I can justify every change, move, time I quit, divorce, etc. but the reality is that it just wasn’t working for me (or my kids = extension of me) so I had to make a change. I’m so tired of trying to explain to those who truly don’t! Thank you for giving us a place to feel at accepted!
Thanks for being on the same wavelength as me 🙂
“Maybe this is radical of me, but I do not believe that we should be required to spend the majority of our time here doing boring, menial work that doesn’t matter to us. It’s a complete waste of time. Time! Which is the one thing we cannot get back.”
I don’t know how much this site will help me, but reading these words alone – and knowing that it wasn’t I who wrote them down – is a freakin miracle. I try to explain this to other people all the time, and doing that without them judging me or thinking I’m lazy or unmotivated is an impossible feat. I spend hours and hours thinking, “why the hell is this the norm!?!?!?!?” and then alternately raging and crying and I wake up and trudge to my officey doom each day.
Thanks for bothering to write it down. That alone makes me feel like I’m not alone and that there are other intelligent, seemingly-well-adjusted people who ask these questions.
Oh my god! I’m so glad that my friend suggested I check out your site! This post explains line for line one of the biggest problems I’ve had in my life! I’ve had so many different jobs and moved a bunch of times. I’ve always argued with my parents and older sister about why I can’t just stay at a “good job” and how stupid I am for leaving so many jobs but I just get to this point where I can’t stand it anymore! And I feel so relieved reading your words here and finally having an understanding of why.
Currently, I’m losing my mind because for the first time I have other people in my tribe who depend on me and I can’t just move or leave the jobs I’m working and I know that I’m done. I need to do something else and I would love to be somewhere else! I just don’t know how to make it happen right now.. I’ve been really struggling and getting more and more frustrated at work. Maybe I can’t change the situation yet but it helps to have some understanding of why I’m having so much trouble.
Thank you!
You are like a breath of fresh air. Great attitude. Great perceptions. Rock solid commitment. Thanks for the encouragement.
This has been my worst nightmare in my adult life; stuck being “normal” I have a microbiology background and I’m currently in the the financial industry and went back to school to study finance/economics. I paint and write poetry for fun as well as enjoy photography. I am currently teaching myself coding. I speak 3 languages fluently and i am profecient in one. English is my 3rd language.
In every conventional testing I’ve never fitted into a majority. The cube eco-system scares the day light out of me. If I can find a job with a bit of anthropology, economics, technology, project management and empowering people in it with lots of travel and cultural experience, I would find peace.
It is nice to find a tribe with my kind of normal.
Hi Emilie,
For the past 7 years, I’ve worked with 4 companies. I was an external auditor, a business controls specialist, an accounting manager, and now a software project manager. I can sing well. I know how to dance and act. I sometimes write scripts. I used to host school activities and organize debates or beauty pageants. I also ventured into teaching and sometimes, public speaking. By the way, Business Law and Taxation were my favorite subjects when I was in college. I also love books, reading, travel, and languages. I’m also interested in reading and understanding people and try to figure out what is their true passion and what makes them tick.
Because of these various interest, most of the time I feel restless, then bored, then uninterested and unsatisfied. I feel like I am not accomplishing anything.
I was glad and pacified after I watched your Ted Talk. I just started reading your website and this particular blog post hit me. The thought of having one job/role for the rest of my life really makes me want to hang myself. It makes me puke.
I’ll learn how to combine my many interests into one business. I’ll also create my dream job.
Hope you reply and I hope we meet in the near future.
Thanks…
Emilie,
I am so THRILLED to have found your site and your TED talk. It was like someone telling me, “It’s okay that you are different.” I was a teacher and then a lawyer and now I’m not working but painting. I felt like something was wrong with me that I just couldn’t stick with a “normal” job. I have had multiple jobs and I have collected several degrees, but reading this post makes me feel relieved. Maybe there isn’t just one “dream job” out there for me, just many unexplored interests and passions to be discovered.
Thank you!
Emilie, thank you from the bottom of my heart! I’ve felt for decades that I didn’t fit in and, until I saw your TED talk and visited this page, felt like I was entirely alone, unwelcome in the normal reality of others, and simply aimless. I am or have been a photographer, graphic designer, inventor, entrepreneur, singer, drummer / percussionist, political / social issue blog writer, dog trainer, cook, baker, etc. and yet I work at a major technology retailer as a low-level sales person… not one of my passions, goals, or even, frankly, skills. I’ve had to try to fit in my whole life and, as you know, it’s very hard at best. I’m nearly 39 years old and I still don’t know what I can and should, or COULD do when I “grow up”. It’s exciting, but dreadfully unnerving. I would love to speak with you about my specific situation at your leisure and convenience. I look forward to hearing from you via email if possible, so it’s easier to follow the conversation with my schedule as it is. Thank you again!
Thank you, Emilie. I, too, am one of those people lost, reading career book after career book asking myself, What Next? only to end up giving up on the idea of a career move because I can’t picture myself doing something else for very long without getting tired of that next thing too. So I sit, unhappy, in a job that I am good at, but unfulfilled. I’m looking forward to diving deeper into your site and guidance to see if there truly is a Door #3 with a fulfilling and happy career opportunity that I drive. It’s scary, and fear holds most of us back, but it’s nice stumbling on this community of like-minded individuals to know that it is possible, and there is support. 5 years later, posts like this are still making a difference in the lives of others.
Yes, posts like these make a huge difference! We are not alone! Thanks Emilie! Barbara Sher has some of the best solutions I’ve seenhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7GrSUXCB6pceMDBifS_Bew
I can’t thank you enough for this article and this site, which I have only just discovered. Looks like I came late to the party!! 🙂
It feels like something I have wanted to read all my life. The guilt I have felt jumping from scientist-journalist-teacher-photographer (and jumping countries at the same time!) has been huge and I thought maybe I was the only one. I’m not! Hurray! 🙂 🙂
thank you for giving shape to my haunting thoughts….
let’s keep exploring!!!
Oh my god!! I want to cry so bad right now because this post is how I feel everyday. I am a college student right now and I want to learn a lot of different things not just do one thing for the rest of my life. No one understands that. Everyone knows what they wanna do in life… but I want to do a lot of things. So I decided that I want to be an entrepreneur. I wanna be self employed so I can work on whatever I want…. so I will never have to settle for something boring or unfulfilling. I know this venture will be scary and uncertain but it is the one I’m choosing!