Giving Up Control Can Make You Smarter and More Creative

I tend to be a very scheduled, task list-oriented, dotted-Is and crossed-Ts flavor of Multipotentialite. It may not be surprising that I’m also a Virgo. So, when I had a dream where I gave up all control over my circumstances, it was a little unnerving.

It was also fascinating and thrilling for the same reason.

In the dream, I was walking in my neighborhood when I heard a whirring sound approaching from behind. As I turned, I saw a small electric scooter moving down the street. Nothing too unusual about that, except that the scooter had no rider. The scooter passed me up and turned a corner, rolling out of sight.

Soon, I passed a house where a boy was standing outside holding a large remote control device. As he looked up the street, the scooter drove up and circled around him, then slowly moved down the block.

“You can take a ride if you want,” he said. “I’m not sure where it’s going next, because I put it on autopilot. But jump on if you want.”

I declined and continued my walk. After a couple more blocks, I saw the scooter gliding beside me. I thought, Maybe this is my chance to do something different, and I hopped on. As I held on to the handlebars, it picked up a little speed, and quickly I was out of my neighborhood and onto the main street.

I rode along for a while, taking in the sights around me and marveling at the fact that I was letting someone (or something?) else literally take the wheel and direct me into something new. Eventually, I decided I was getting a little too far away to comfortably walk home again, so I jumped off.

The next day I couldn’t forget the dream. Nor could I shake the idea that it was telling me something important. I think the dream was meant to teach me that it’s okay to not be in control of everything as much as I’m accustomed to. The fact that I enjoyed being taken for a ride — in a good way — suggested that maybe I should try this in my awake times as well as in dreamland.

Without local kids possessing autopilot scooters that I could hop on, I would need to take a more intentional approach. As I wracked my brain trying to think of something, it dawned on me that I had already done this before, and it had helped me immensely. It was when my wife decided to teach me a skill I’d never have pursued on my own.

Knitting my way out of a rut

At the time, I was deep into learning to code PHP. I was starting to struggle a bit and losing enthusiasm, although I’d originally had a lot of passion for the project. In short, I was stuck.

I must have been complaining a little too much to my wife, because she suddenly decided it was time I learned to knit. I didn’t see how knitting related to my coding problem, but I let her steer me into crafting a scarf. Surprisingly, I became obsessed with clicking those needles every evening. Knit one, purl one, over and over, until soon I had a long purple rectangle draped over my legs.

Knitting was an enjoyable distraction, and repeating the pattern helped relax my noggin. It also helped me think about writing code in a new way that made learning more accessible. I made an unexpected connection between the patterns I was stitching and the PHP I needed to write.

Allowing my wife to introduce me to something new helped me understand how to get unstuck in a different area of my life. Amazing. I wouldn’t have chosen knitting myself, or made the connection alone.

So, could this phenomenon be replicated in other situations? What if someone else chose a new food for you to try that awakened your senses enough that it affected other areas of your life? Or, if you’re used to driving your car to work every day, what if you decided to try taking public transportation? Instead of shopping at a big box supermarket, what if you looked for produce at a local Korean market? If your local Korean market is your usual spot, why not try the tienda Mexicana down the street? What might you discover? What might it stimulate in you?

The more I thought about those times when I was either encouraged or forced by happenstance to try something out of my ordinary, the more I thought how fun it could be to make a game out of it.

Would you like to play a game?

Here’s the concept: Let someone else choose an interest to pursue or a new thing to try. Maybe it will help you think differently about something you’re involved in currently, or give you a new perspective that generates something creatively unique.

If you want to participate in this game, follow these steps:

1. Find a trusted partner to play with you.
2. Let them choose a new activity or thing to try that’s very different from your norm. This could be tasting a new cuisine, trying your hand at an art or craft you haven’t attempted before, visiting an unfamiliar neighborhood, learning a new sport…there are endless possibilities.
3. Try it! Like many new experiences, it may be a tad uncomfortable at first. It’s perfectly okay to acknowledge that discomfort, but try to give it a chance. If you end up not liking it, you don’t have to do it forever—but you might just find out that you love it.
4. Choose something for your partner to try. Even better if you go along and it’s also a new experience for you!

There are no points or achievement levels here. If the thing you try doesn’t give you a new insight, it doesn’t mean you lose. In this game, trying is winning. It’s a bit of a multipotentialite buffet, because you can pursue as many new things as you want without committing to an outcome.

Single player mode

It’s hard to police ourselves, which is why having a partner can be helpful for this game. However, if you don’t have or don’t want a partner to help you, you can still play. Here’s how:

1. Create a few broad categories—for example, foods, places and activities.
2. Write down at least three ideas for experiences in each category. Obviously, these should be things you’ve never tried before. Search engines can be your friend here!
3. Pick one at random.
4. Commit to trying it, and put it on your calendar. Or head out right away! Just see what happens.

You always have veto power

Playing this game should not put you in danger physically or mentally. And, while the object is to experience something completely new, you should feel empowered to refuse an activity or suggestion. For example, if you’re a strict vegan, you absolutely do not need to try steak tartare. If you live in a sketchy neighborhood, taking a walk alone at 2:00 AM may not be a safe choice. You have full veto power, but if an activity or experience is not dangerous or against your values, then try to be open to exploring how it feels to leave your comfort zone.

Your turn

Have you ever tried something out of the ordinary, just for the heck of it? Did it shift your perspective in any way? Share with the community in the comments. And, if you try this game, we would love to hear how it goes for you!