Why Multipotentialites are Attractive
Photo courtesy of Joshua Barnett.

Why Multipotentialites are Attractive

Written by Emilie

Topics: Confidence

Editor’s note: In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, here’s a sexy guest post by Rami of GutsyGeek.com.

It all began with a simple comment.

“You know what? You have the strangest skillset I’ve ever seen,” Tina said.

The conversation around the table died down for a second. I looked up from my drink, and smiled at her.

“Good strange or bad strange?” I asked.

She paused for a second, then giggled.

“Definitely good strange!”

Addressing the others at the table, she asked: “Did you guys know that Rami plays the harp?”

All eyes turned to me. Here we go again.

Specializing is Boring

You know what bores me to death? Specialists.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they exist!

When I need my taxes done, I’m glad there’s an accountant who knows everything there is to know about crunching numbers. When I’m out of ideas at the comic book store, the owner is always there with a new obscure series that I’m sure to enjoy. And when I’m diseased, I sure as hell hope the doc is specialized and gives me the right diagnosis.

However, when I’m sitting with a specialist at dinner, and all she wants to talk about is her passion for chainsaw manufacturing, I get bored. FAST.

The first time I actually noticed this phenomenon was in college. My brother and his buddy were watching basketball, while I read a comic book. As luck would have it, my brother had to leave halfway through the game for a work emergency, so I hung out with his friend.

“So…” he began. “You like basketball?”

“Not really,” I replied.

“What about football?” he asked.

“Nope,” I said. “I don’t watch any sports on TV.”

“Oh.” He paused. I could see the struggle on his face, as he tried to figure out what else to talk about. I was also struggling – with not laughing out loud at his dilemma. Holding it in, I decided to offer him a way out.

“What about you, do you watch a lot of sports?” I asked.

“Yes I do!” and he breathed an audible sigh of relief. He then regaled me with a whole bunch of stats about his favorite teams, events, preferences, opinions and more.

Heh, specialists. What a funny bunch.

Multiple Interests are Sexy

Now, what’s interesting is what happened next. Although I started off by humoring my brother’s friend, and being a polite host, it didn’t last long.

Within minutes, the multipotentialite inside of me woke up, and I started being intrigued by these so-called “sports”. I asked him questions about players, what makes a team better than another, why football and soccer are known everywhere else as American football and football (hint: soccer is the short form of association football).

All of a sudden, I was interested. Damn my curious nature. I ended up learning a lot, and even watched the rest of the game with him while having a beer.

A few days later, my brother came home from the bar, and said his buddy was asking about me. His friend thought I was super cool, and told my brother to invite me out next time so we could all hang out.

All I did was be curious, and that’s the first lesson for today: curiosity is attractive.

Are You Into (Insert Thing Here)?

Being super specialized is useful for work, but it’s often a detriment socially. Multipotentialites tend to know a little bit about everything, rather than a lot about one thing, which makes us great conversationalists.

We can jump from music to sports to that new cat video to why your fingers look wrinkly when you go swimming (hint: osmosis) to videogames and back to music, all without skipping a beat.

This is a beautiful thing. It means you and I can relate to 90% of the people out there, simply because we know a little bit about what makes them tick. The other 10%? Like my brother’s friend? We can relate to them too, because our curiosity compels us to know more about whatever obscure thing they’re into.

Like sports. Heh.

In order to know more, we become incredibly good listeners. We ask questions at the right time, pay attention, and store it in our memory banks for future reference when we need it.

I’m going to say it again, curiosity is attractive.

Build attraction with CURIOSITY

Arguably the hardest part about meeting new, potential partners, is creating a connection. Two strangers who know nothing about each other need to figure out what makes the other person tick, and connect to them.

It’s difficult at first, because we all have a nice shell up to protect us from letting scary people in. The best way inside is usually through a superficial connection through common interests.

Sometimes, it’s as easy as knowing an obscure factoid.

I was once chatting up a cute girl at a bar. She mentioned that her family called her Mookie.

“Oh cool,” I said. “Like the basketball player, right?”

Her jaw dropped.

“I’m 27, and no one has ever known where my nickname came from. That’s amazing.”

After that, there was instant attraction.

But wait, something’s not right with this story. How did I, dude who knows nothing about sports, know that Mookie is a basketball player’s name? Curiosity, that’s how.

In my youth, I was a big Pearl Jam fan. Curious about their name, I looked it up online, and discovered that they were originally called Mookie Blaylock, after the professional basketball player.

Nearly 15 years later, that information would get me a cute girl’s phone number at a club.

Back to the Bar…

“Yes, I play the harp,” I laughed. “I’m also a videogame champion, and a super geek Magic: The Gathering player. I run a blog that teaches geeks to get the girl, and I wrote a book while working fulltime last year. I occasionally teach at the university, I used to be an audio engineer, I cook amazing Thai and Korean food, and I love any kind of skating – rollerskates, rollerblades, and iceskates.”

Everyone cracked up.

“I wish I could do that many things,” one woman said.

“You totally can!” I replied. “All you need to do is be curious.”

Your Turn

Do you think being a multipotentialite has made you sexier?… Or at least a better conversationalist? ;)

ramiRami is the force behind gutsygeek.com, where he teaches geeks the ins and outs of dating. He was terrible with women until his mid 20s, then realized everything that made him weird as a child made him awesome as an adult. He’ll teach you to be confident, win at fighting games, and actually get a date. Find him in the Puttytribe, and like his beard on twitter @gutsygeek.

7 Comments

  1. Em says:

    I never thought about this as a multipod thing but damn, it is one! :) I’ve always known that I make quite an interesting conversationalist as I know many little trivia and other informations from all thinkable areas. Surely, internet helps with this. I’m watching loads of videos, reading loads of posts and even though they have in common, that there is something in them to attract me, they are about all kinds of toppics. I don’t remember it all, of course, and I couldn’t talk ten minutes about that one thing the post was about, but it’s the simple sentence like:”Yeah, I’ve read about it on Blabla, they said it’s like this, is that true?”, that lights up the conversation and make you so much more interesting than other people who are only able to respond like:”Hmm” + smile, as they have nothing to say about that toppic whatsoever.

    Also it helps to not be scared of changing the subject, based on any internal connection that you had in your mind when someone said some particular word. I used to keep these connections and things that pop up in my head for myself and that was the end of any conversation. Nowadays, I would go like:”Not sure if it’s connected anyhow but I just had this strange thought in my mind as you said that, remembering how I read about…” and bingo, there comes whole another conversation.

    I believe this skill is totally connected to becoming more sexy or attractive to other people. Or cool. Or smart. It’s definitely more interesting than specialists who only have one toppic to talk about and they talk about it all the damn time. It’s not like it’s gonna make you all hot on its own but it does help :)

  2. Rami says:

    Hey Em, you hit the nail right on the head with that answer.

    You’re right, it doesn’t make you hot all on its own. There are a whole bunch of other factors like looks, attitude, personality, grooming, culture, etc that contribute to that.

    But knowing a small fact that allows you to relate to someone is incredibly powerful, as a networking tool, a dating tool, or a befriending tool.

    Glad you liked the post! :D

  3. Katja says:

    Hi Rami, I enjoyed that article very much. Like Em I never connected this with being a multipod. After reading this it is perfectly obvious.

    I’m curious ;) — when have you picked up the harp? I’ve been playing for about two years and it seems to me that my level of attractiveness/interestingness (which is probably not even a word?) has about doubled! At least it feels like it…

    Greetings from Germany

    Katja

    • Rami says:

      I picked up the harp about 7 years ago, when I was still at university. I don’t play as often as I should, although I’ve been known to strum a pretty tune or two here and there.

      It wasn’t enough to make me super attractive, but it was enough to make me intriguing at the very least :D

  4. Amy says:

    Attractive, maybe. Compatible?? Can a multipotentialite and a specialist work? How do you find someone who can hang with someone who wants to get involved in day trading, real estate, write a book, live in Germany/Austria to get fluent in German, put out an album, train for the olympics, live in Argentina for 6 months to learn to play polo and become fluent in Spanish, learn to rock climb, ski, go hiking and camping in national parks all over the us etc etc etc etc. Would it be worse with another multipod? Each of you has a DIFFERENT 50 crazy ideas. How does this work?

  5. Tania says:

    I’m a sportsperson and a big fan of sport, so I often make friends mostly with guys because we can talk about football away the hours :)
    Concerning the curiosity, I agree with you. It makes a person more attractive and interesting, But one shouldn’t be too curious and not show off using their knowledge. It will definitely push people aside.

  6. Agree. Totally! My partner and I are both multipods (albeit different types) and I think that’s been crucial in helping our cross-cultural (Afro-European) relationship thrive!

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