If you’re having a hard time…
Photo courtesy of Sam D.

If you’re having a hard time…

Written by Emilie

Topics: Fear, Updates

Hey multipotentialite friends,

I don’t even know how to write this. I don’t know what I want to say, really.

I’ll just start with how I’ve been feeling:

Disconnected. And scared.

I miss writing to you about my life, and hearing from you about yours. I’ve been so busy writing a book (which I hope will help millions of you when it comes out in the spring) that I haven’t had time to say hello via our usual channels: blog posts and emails. My newsletters used to be so personal, and I miss that.

I’ve also been distracted by the state of the U.S. and of the world.

Some of us were surprised by Donald Trump’s election. For others, it was just a reiteration of the inequity that is status quo in this country. I’m not a member of the most vulnerable groups—not even close—but I am not not vulnerable either. And this has been a wakeup call. The other night, my wife and I had the following exchange:

Valerie: If things get really bad… I just worry about you.

Emilie (genuinely confused): You mean, because I’m Jewish?

Valerie: No. Because you look so gay.

That made me laugh a lot. It also reminded me that shit is getting real (for some it has already gotten bad). And that my enthusiasm and charisma might not save me in the face of the kind of bigotry that’s been emboldened by this political climate… I am feeling terrified for myself, for my friends of color, for the members of my family who are immigrants, for all my queers and gender nonconforming folks…the list goes on.

How are you feeling? I know many of you are probably scared, too. And maybe a little distracted? I hear that. I know it’s been hard for me to get anything done.

In the midst of feeling shocked and stuck and helpless, I’m making a little promise to you, my multipod community. Now that I’ve finished writing my book, I am recommitting to being in touch and to keeping it real on screen and in my real life. Everyone showing up and coming together is our best hope, now.

Neil and Jo are super awesome writers, but I’ll be writing more blog posts myself. I’ll be pushing myself to get honest in my newsletters. And I’ll continue to read all of your comments and emails. (Unfortunately, I can’t commit to replying to them all because there are just too many. But I do read everything you send me and I’ll keep doing that.)

If you’re having a hard time, know that you aren’t alone. I wish I had more answers, but I do know that there is power in connection and honesty. Keep in touch, be brave, give what you can to causes you believe in and take care of each other.

Your pal and fellow multipotentialite,

Emilie

Your Turn

How are you doing? What have you been up to lately? I would love to hear your news in the comments below.

em_bioEmilie Wapnick is the Founder and Creative Director at Puttylike, where she helps multipotentialites integrate ALL of their interests into their lives. Unable to settle on one path herself, Emilie studied music, art, film production and law, graduating from the Law Faculty at McGill University. She is an occasional rock star, a paleo-friendly eater and a wannabe scientist carpenter. Learn more about Emilie here.

55 Comments

  1. Angele says:

    As an African American Muslim woman in America I have definitely felt quite uneasy lately and it truly has had an effect on my work and passions. I find myself questioning the very reason I do things and if it’s even worth it at the end of the day because of everything that’s going on, will anyone even be interested in what I have to offer to the world? I had to force myself to stop watching the news, as much as I like to stay informed, because it causes me a lot of anxiety. I wonder if someone knows any good methods of dealing with this? Thanks Em for this post it’s good to know I’m not alone.

  2. Margaret says:

    Thinking about constructive action and what that will be during the challenging times ahead. Thank you for this post. Thank you for being real and for the original and inspiring work you do.

    Margaret
    (American living in The Netherlands)

  3. Julie Evans says:

    Last night is the first time since the election results that I don’t feel depressed, nauseous and stressed. Still not getting to sleep like I normally do. Hopefully, soon I will. It doesn’t change how I feel about the current state of the union. The concerns I have for women, minorities or anyone that isn’t rich or white. I am disgusted and angered by the outcome. Trying to put this is situation into some perspective. Also, which concern to focus as much of my energy as possible, which is difficult as I want to focus on them all. So MP!

  4. Robin says:

    Oh yeah, it’s going down.
    Here in Austria (I know, fly dirt on the map in comparison to the US) it’s pretty similar. Last March we elected our president (which is really a tiny, unimportant role in our politics). It was a 50:50 decision between right and leftish wing. 3000 votes made the difference in favour of the leftish guy (who’s also an incredibly intelligent man).
    After that the right wing party actually managed to counter the election as not valid. Since then we had another two elections, which were not valid, due to the postal voting system having no proper glue on the envelopes. Next election: First advent Sunday (4th Dec). We will have gone through an entire year of electing a freaking unimportant role. And yet, since the parlamentary elections look like we’re gonna get a right wing government soon, it’s all the more important, the president is not right wing…
    What used to be embarrassing has turned ridiculous (despite scary).

    I’ve stopped watching the news to keep my mind from going nuts over worldwide politics. The most important stuff reaches me anyway and if something interests me, I research. But this diet has seriously been the best decision for my mental health, that I’ve done in a long time.

    Yet, we have to stay aware what we can do. Going to vote despite all the craziness is a given. But, while I don’t tend to be somebody who goes to protests, I try to do my part in making aware of the issues. Partly through my art and design.

    Not everybody is cut out to be an activist. But those who aren’t might just be the ones who motivate those who are.

    But yeah, it’s scary. In a political sense, I can only go with John Oliver: “Fnck you, 2016!” (Look him up on Youtube if you haven’t seen it yet)

    Power to the ones that keep human and natures rights in order! <3

  5. Anne Molinas says:

    Nice to hear from you Emilie. Yes, it’s scary times, but the important thing is to keep communicating, expressing our thoughts, ideas, selves, and remember that there is always something we can do, at a personal, social or politic level. As bad as it seems, and everyday there is something new to be concerned about, people are speaking up, coming together, and will respond creatively and postively. I am hopeful. Thank you, and keep in touch, keep writing!

    • Terri says:

      Thank you Anne for your perspective, insight. I was encouraged by your suggestion that people are waking up and speaking up. I’ve noticed that. It’s a mixed bag of reactions, but at least people are thinking. It’s a start.

  6. Michelle says:

    Really well said, Emily. I think you expressed what a lot of us are feeling. I’m also not a member of the most vulnerable groups, but I still can’t seem to get out of this funk I’ve been in for the last two weeks. I have started getting more involved in the community, as so many will now need help and comfort. I’ve also been using my voice more now than I ever have before.

    But I’m still depressed and disappointed, because so many of my family members, and some friends, voted for him. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with that and understanding how I can have a genuine relationship with them anymore without constantly remembering what they have accepted in our President-elect. I haven’t even spoken to most of them since the election. I wish it were only a difference of opinion in policies, but sadly it’s not, and that’s what hits so hard.

    Thank you for this post, and keep using your voice. It will undoubtedly bring more people together :)

  7. Carol says:

    Thank you for your sharing. We felt the same way and I said the exact same thing to my wife because she looks more gay than I do. We have already had one incident (gay male) in our city. It inspired me to be more bold so I ordered rainbow flags for our car. And “stand my ground” stickers as well. I want to be part of a proud, unified show of strength. I am tired of being angry and scared though so we are trying to get back to some normalcy in our life. We have even agreed, with much thought and discussion, to share Thanksgiving with people we know to be good but who also voted for T. This is huge for us because it is very hard to reconcile those two things right now. Wishing you peace and a return to full joy.

  8. Patrick Stingley says:

    Did you ever notice the opposite color dots in the Yin/Yang symbol?
    Not all bad is bad.
    Not all good is good.

    Maybe the Trump Administration will open the door to some real progress. The years of political correctness have swept the problems under the rug where they haven’t been dealt with. The Black Lives Matter movement and unwarranted police killings show that we need real change; not just lip service.

  9. Fabiola says:

    I want to send you a big hug since the end of the world. Yes you have a reader from Chile (south america) . I apologize for my bad English.

    You make us feel that we are not alone multipotentialites, Sometimes it costs not to fall into the anguish of being immersed in a structured culture that does not allow you to be dispersed and have different ways of leading your life. And there is always you and this blog. Now, I feel it is my way of thanking you and telling you that you are not alone. And I send you all the good energy in the world.
    You’re not alone.

  10. Janet Bass says:

    I’m not as much of a target as a lot of my friends (straight, white, middle aged woman), but I’m still nauseated and depressed from all of the hate. I’ve made donations to organizations that can help groups that are the targets of the hate, but I’m looking for ways to offer support directly. I’ve been able to calm and help support some friends, but I’d like to take more action. Ideas? I have two kids, so travel isn’t often possible, but I did set up an account for my adult daughter and myself to pay bail if we are arrested while protesting.

  11. Katie says:

    On a lighter note, I thought the reason you hadn’t been so involved lately was because, well, you ARE a multipod like us :-) With a tendency to dive deep into subjects and then, at times, get burned out by it. I thought you were just taking a break because you had dove into multipotentialism for too long and needed a break lol. Which I’m sure most of us, can relate to.

    On a deeper note, I also am saddened by the results. I think I’m at a point though where, ‘what’s done is done’. I can’t change the outcome now so I’d rather focus on looking ahead and trying to see what I can do and be proactive about so that it doesn’t get really bad. Or even just analyzing why did people vote the way they did? What am I missing? I don’t want to stay stuck in helplessness if I can help it (not saying anyone else is, I was just noticing myself becoming that way ;-))

    I really appreciate your vulnerability in this post and agree with your statement that, there is “power in connection and honesty”. That power really shows through in this article. Thank you

  12. Joanne Meller says:

    Do you want an America with a strong and healthy economy? Do you want an America that is strong and bold enough to keep those who wish to do us harm, whether individuals, entire countries, or groups from having their way with us? Do you think political correctness has allowed for the free flow of conversation, opinions and ideas?

    Please think about why we have the freedoms we have in this country. We take them for granted. Isn’t it time that we stop blaming America, corporations, religions, prejudice, and racism for all of our problems?

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Pollyanna. I know that these problems exist, and I know that there are those that want to alienate those whose lifestyles or opinions don’t fit with their idea of how life should be lived. But a President doesn’t have the power to change the opinions of those who are bent on doing evil. All he can do is inspire, encourage and lead us to be better people, and only God can change hearts.

    I would ask you to consider at least taking a look at “the other side” without the filter of a media that is so biased toward the progressive mindset that they simply cannot or will not report truth, real truth, not the one that they find “relative” to their way of thinking.

    I know that all of you are very intelligent, and deep thinkers. (Perhaps more than the average bear!). But have we become so immersed in the current “correct” thinking that we’ve forgotten to truly take a look at the situation on our own, educate ourselves and reach a reasonable conclusion?

    I know that I am risking a lot of criticism for posting this, but I feel heartbroken that people are living in fear, and feeling hopeless and helpless because a man they don’t like has been elected. You have been fed a lot of untruths, and I don’t even know where this idea that minorities, homosexuals, or certain ethnic groups will be rounded up and placed in harm’s way, or that their civil rights will be denied.

    I would ask you to at least consider that 1/2 of the population in this country are haters, racists, bigots, etc. I am one whose is in this group, and I truly resent this blanket assignment of every negative, hateful way of thinking to those who love this country, who love their fellow man, who try to live in peace with everyone no matter what. Those who voted in this group are simply people who have seen a lot of failed policies, a sluggish economy that has affected everyone, a bloated government with lots of wasteful spending of our hard-earned dollars, and a weakened position in a world filled with those who despise our way of life and want to bring it down. I implore you to ease your minds, and stop living in fear that those who don’t share your political opinions are out to hurt you. It breaks my heart that you actually believe that your way of life, whatever it is, will be punished or even banished because we have a new President.

    I really love all of you, I AM one of you, and I pray that you will go back to living your wonderful, creative and quirky life and stop worrying about things that will never happen. Life is too short….please, please, please do not believe the things that you’ve heard that are causing you such pain and angst. A true American wants the best for every single person in our great country. We do not care about your lifestyle, the color of your skin or your religious leanings. Please enjoy your day, enjoy your life- it will only get better, I promise.

    • Emilie says:

      Hi Joanne,

      Thank you for sharing your opinion. I worry a lot about this “don’t trust the media” narrative. The media is our watchdog. It’s how we stay informed about what’s going on in the world. It’s vitally important for a free and open society. Of course, we need to be critical thinkers. There is a lot of misinformation out there and we need to be mindful of our sources. Some media outlets are more trustworthy than others.

      But the notion that we shouldn’t trust the media is dangerous. It’s a good way to make citizens passive and complacent and to make us turn away our gaze as things get worse and worse and worse.

      Here are a few facts:

      – Last week, a black woman who lives just a few miles from me was hit with a brick in the back of the head.

      – A few months ago, a black teenager in my city was run over by a car by a known white supremacist.

      – Last week, a children’s playground in Brooklyn was spray painted with swastikas.

      – The FBI has reported over 700 hate crimes since Donald Trump was elected.

      – Donald Trump has appointed a powerful white nationalist as his chief strategist.

      – On Monday, white nationalists held a meeting in a FEDERAL BUILDING. The meeting began with Richard Spencer of the “alt-right” saying: “Heil Trump! Heil our people! Heil victory!” People in the audience were doing the Nazi salute. (The video of this talk is terrifying).

      To reiterate, people are doing the Nazi salute in government buildings.

      We need to be careful where we get our news and we need to be critical of the media, but we also need to keep our eyes open. Because this is happening. We need to know what’s going on so we can protect ourselves, protect our neighbors, organize and fight back.

      • Joe Rodriguez says:

        First of all.. I’d like to say that even though I seldom ever comment and I’ve never commented on this particular site, I’ve been one of the silent readers that am truly thankful for what has been put together here.

        I do not align myself with any party. I’m a man of Cuban descent in Florida which as a state voted red for the first time in some time. I’m also a single dad of a 19 yr old daughter.

        I am in full agreement with you, the situation we’re in with the distrust of media is of great concern. Now, I am naturally a cynic, due possibly to the fact my family immigrated from a communist/socialist regime, and as consequence I am simply not comfortable accepting what I am told as what is and what is not.

        When it comes to news reports, personally, I never feel that I’ve been given enough information to formulate a non-biased opinion. So as can be imagined, this election season’s been nothing but sensory overload for me which only fueled my need to fact check them. Unfortunately, in my research to decide whom to vote for I did find that the media was selectively choosing what to report on and as consequence manipulating via narrative.

        Many thing went under the radar by all. Example..

        – KKK’s endorsement of Trump.
        What was reported was that they endorsed his candidacy in Nov ’15. But wasn’t reported was that they ping-ponged back and forth from Trump to Clinton. In fact, most of 2016 they were backing, vocally and financially, Clinton.

        – The Alt-Right
        It’s been reported that the Alt-right is 1 group that has become emboldened by Trump’s win. What was neglected to be mentioned was the fact that they are 2 different groups. One that sees the anti-white male phenomenon as a form of racism, like a BLM for whites. And another that’s built up from white supremacy. Thanks to media’s statements though, if you argue against white divisiveness, you’re simply a supremacist. This is dangerous because how does one know the differentiate now? The supremacists have been picking up strength since 2012.

        – Quanell X / New Black Panther Party
        I never came across this by the MSM. The fact they endorsed Trump and that they felt that the Obama administration and the Democratic Party were “pimps” and that members of the Afr American community are being “pimped, like prostitutes” was surprising to me.

        – LBGT rights / equality
        News continuously mentioned Clinton’s position of same sex marriage. They did neglect to state how it wasn’t until 2013, incidentally as she began her rerun for the candidacy, that she had changed to a pro-gay stance. Or that Bill Clinton was who signed DOMA in ’96. Or that Trump was the first private club owner in Palm Beach, FL ( Mar-a-Lago ) to openly admit and acknowledge gay couples into private clubs. Or even that Peter Thiel played a huge part in his candidacy.

        – The Clinton’s history
        Clinton’s history pre-first lady has largely gone uncovered by MSM. Very few know what parts she played with “White Water Development Corp” or “Madison Guarantee” while she was part of Rose Law Firm. Or how Gov Clinton & Hillary had 2 planes to shuttle drugs into the country in the late 80s and laundered drug money to pay for his election campaign in 92.

        – Cops gunning down unarmed blacks
        Washington Post is initially to blame here. They skewed the reporting on factual numbers by omitting relevant data. The rest of the media shares the blame when they simply ran with the story and data.

        Add to all that the fact all members of media, regardless of political alignment, were so overly consumed with throwing dirt at one another instead of concentrating on being “unbiased” and allowing the viewers to formulate their own opinions instead of being fed theirs. Leaves one to question how credible any of our “news” truly has become.

        I’m in no way, shape or form, endorsing or believe Trump is a model politician. In fact IMO, I believe our choices were simply between bad or bad. But we have what we have and I as a citizen must accept whatever result of our legal elections. My family has shed too much blood and sacrificed enough, we are a military family, for me to do otherwise. So I submit to the wisdom of the electoral results and the system set forth by our fore fathers.

        What’s most disconcerting to me, more so than the idea of MSM’s credibility, is the state of our society today. And apparently I am in the minority.

        – The social acceptance of the burning of my home’s symbol, the American flag, as an act of protest and not one of terrorism. Add to this how truly painful it feels to see my flag displayed with the union down. This is divisiveness.

        – The fact that a straight, white man is seen as bad or with ill intentions. I’ve been subject to this form of discrimination even though I’m Hispanic. This is racism. This is divisiveness.

        – How anyone person can justify feeling anything but positive feelings and pride to be part of a nation of which citizens have rights to choose elected officials by vote. Remember, “Cuban” here. Fact that I defend the nation’s choice has left me pretty alone and hated by my Clinton-ite family and friends. And my daughter’s been a victim of this too. This is pretty divisive.

        – The fact Americans can so easily state “if so and so gets elected, I’m leaving”. This is pretty disrespectful, and divisive.

        – How our PC culture so easily throws around labels and accusations of misogynists, anti-Semitic, racists. These actions have all but eroded the meaning of these words. And it’s continued use further contributes to the divisiveness.

        – How our PC culture, cannot understand how insulting it is to continue to label me a minority. This is divisiveness. I’m an American.

        I apologize for the wall of text.. I will cut this short. I just know that we, as a nation, are much better than all this.

  13. Sarah Wilkins says:

    Hi Emilie

    Thank you for your heartfelt email. From across the pond I share a lot of your concerns. I have friends who are of colour and those who are part of the LGBT community and stuff I heard during the election campaign in the U.S. appalled me. I am hoping a lot of what was said was posturing and vile rhetoric which will not come to pass. We can only wait and see …

    I too have been away from the community with my head buried in other things. I hope to be more engaged with my fellow puttypeeps before long.

    It’s great to see you back.
    Sarah xx

  14. Jas Hothi says:

    On the week the results were announced, I received my regular update from Quiet Revolution – unfortunately I couldn’t link to this, so thought I would paste it below to share with you all:

    It’s been a series of ups and downs for many here in the US. Tough for many, and joyous for others. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, there’s been hurt.

    Quiet Revolution’s cofounder Susan Cain posted the following to her Facebook page this past week, and I think it’s worth sharing her words here:

    “One of the things I’ve always loved best about this community is its gentle, civil, respectful tone. Being human, we don’t always achieve this lofty standard, of course. But we do pretty well at it.

    And so it is that I come to you with a challenge. I believe that, in the wake of this week’s election, this is a time for those who by nature have a gentle temperament to lead the way. Let’s model for others what civil discourse can look like. It doesn’t mean agreeing with each other. It doesn’t mean failing to fight hatred, bigotry, corruption, injustice, or sheer stupidity, where we see it. It means resisting all these things and more.

    It also means trying to understand, to listen, and most of all to give the other the benefit of the doubt. It means naming bad intent when we see it, but working strenuously not to attribute bad intent to others simply because we disagree with them.

    As many of you know, I am not a Trump supporter. Yet over the past week or so, I’ve had offline discussions with some of you who are, and those discussions have been quite wonderful. I don’t think we convinced each other, but I do think that each of us expanded our ability to see that the other was coming from a good place.

    I think that people on both sides of this election need to trust that many, probably most people on the other side are operating not out of callousness, bad faith, or hate, but out of a strange mixture of fear and hope. Half of us are thrilled by the outcome of the election and half of us are crushed. But all of us have healing to do – of ourselves, and of all the people around us. And healing starts with listening. As my kids’ school principal says: listening to understand, not listening to respond.

    I still plan to keep this page as relatively free of politics as I always have. There are plenty of other places on the Internet where you can go for that. But the topic will no doubt come up very occasionally. And even if it never does again, I hope that when you go out into the hurly burly of your daily lives, you’ll think of this community, and of this challenge.” – Susan Cain

  15. Liisa says:

    Hi Emilie. It seems to me that depression paralyzes, while fear or being scared is better because it may drive action – you just need to find out how to act.

    I’m not in the States and I don’t belong to any “real” minority, but I currently live in a country I wasn’t born in and where right wing extremists are getting stronger, and my native country, until the mid-20th century, was regularly attacked, invaded and governed by big powerful neighbours, for centuries in a row and with all the damage that can do. In a way, being the underdog is in my genes :)

    Now, around me in France a lot of people say they’re depressed because of how your elections turned out. I’d say they have something to be depressed about with their own politicians too, and with the world economy, with Brexit, with Syria and so on, so it looks like there’s no end to it if you start down that road.

    If what I’ve read is true, a lot of those who voted against Clinton did it not because they necessarily share all Trump’s values, are rich, or like him as a person but because to them what Clinton represents was not an option and they felt they had no other way to say it. That is understandable at least from this side of the Atlantic – I mean why did they feel like that, there must be a good reason? In fact, I would be interested to know how many actually truly think Trump’s great.

    Like many of those who have commented your post before me, I’d say now’s the time to show what resilience and unity and communication and openness really are and that they do make a difference. And maybe try to find out what there is in the system that creates these desperate people who vote for options that seem crazy. Maybe they feel they have not been heard, maybe they feel their rights have been stamped on – should sound familiar to anyone who knows what being in a minority or the underdog feels like sometimes.

    Except that when it’s not a minority anymore, the Trumps of this world get elected. Maybe at least some of these voters can be worked with, not to highlight or promote any other particular cause but that of the basic human values and everyone’s right to a decent life. Easier said than done, I know, but minority or not, we’re all facing the same shit everywhere, more and more, in different forms. Who knows, maybe in 2017 Le Pen will be president in France and I’m out because I’m not French. Maybe not long from now we’ll all have to accept Monsanto killing our bees and Google invading our privacy because our governments, under international trade agreements, cannot do anything against all that. So maybe Trump and Le Pen are not the problem, nor are their supporters. The mecanisms, systems and interest groups who have made it possible for people like Trump and Le Pen to thrive and to get followers – they are the problem. To me it’s not anymore about being gay or being a woman, or any other such thing, it’s about something far bigger than that.
    May the force be with us all :)

  16. Terri says:

    Sending hugs Emile, and potentialities. Sadly I was encouraged knowing that others are struggling too, that I’m not alone. I’ve been feeling the same way and have wondered why this funky feeling is lingering. I’m usually optimistic and encouraged. Besides being surprised by the election, I’ve also been dealing with the negativity of unemployment. Unlike previous contract work searches, my four months of unemployment is a new, surprising status. I’m also running out of money, having to use retirement dollars. At age 63, is my life doing a 180 without my permission?! How will the new administration affect my employability, life, health access?? I hang on to every waning thread of spirituality. I’m working on being patient and kind to myself. To another slice of lemon loaf! Hang in there everyone.

  17. JohnG says:

    Election night was a bad night for me. I voted for Clinton even though I live in an extreme conservative city in Texas and there was no chance she would win here. I wasn’t planning on voting and wasn’t even registered until I heard the Access Hollywood video. I registered and I voted and I was miserable when the results came in. And then, in the days afterward, I learned how Trump won and it made it a little worse but I began to see some pretty serious silver linings in this very dark cloud.

    Hillary won the popular vote. She will win by a larger margin than Nixon in 68 and JFK in 60. Trump got fewer votes than Romney in 2012 and McCain in 2008. Trump does not have a mandate. Furthermore, 21% of the Wisconsin voters that supported him did not want to but felt that his promise of change outweighed his risk of being a complete moral failure as president. I think they are wrong but I get it and I suspect that there are a lot of voters in other states that went Trump’s way that feel the same about him. If he fails to do what he said he would do during the campaign, those voters will turn on him like rabid wolves. Count on it.

    For anyone reading this comment, why is it so important that Hillary won the popular vote but lost the electoral vote? Two words. MIDTERM ELECTIONS. In 2014, the midterm voter turnout was 32%, the lowest voter turnout in 70 FREAKING YEARS! In 2018, if you are really upset about this tool winning this election, you register to vote and you vote straight Democrat. If we take back the House and the Senate, Trump will be done. Two years of nonsense and then he can just wait for his impeachment trial to begin. VOTE IN 2018!!!!

  18. Katie says:

    <3 Please, do not try to look less gay. I'm considering cutting half my hair off again just to look more visible, so my Drumpf-voting relatives can't forget what I am, but I want long-ish hair for my wedding next year. :P Gotta get some pins for my jean jacket or something.

    We're going to get through this by standing up for ourselves as well as each other. For me, a white lesbian whose family has been in America since the Constitution, this means not blending in. Remind them every chance we get that their politics effect us and those we care about.

  19. Rosemary says:

    Hi, Emilie. I send hugs, too, but I’m trying to be optimistic. My husband says there are so many levels of government and checks and balances, so he believes we will be fine. I am not so sure as I hear rumors of like-minded individuals being considered for cabinet positions. I’ll try to be optimistic.

    In the meantime, I am contemplating a THIRD career at 53. I feel like I’m crazy to consider this, but then I think about the little money I am making now, how I can help my family financially as we move forward, and the fact that I don’t see myself ever retiring. I’m a novelist and have been writing content here and there. I veered off to write a guide to pocket parks to earn money and I enjoyed the subject, but it’s not taken off since I published in 2014. Hubby has cancer (in remission, but not cured), and I am very interested in an entirely new career in digital forensic investigations. It would take about 1 1/2 years to complete online if not 1 year.

    My days are not enjoyable scrounging for story ideas, writing clients and business. I’d love to be productive and spend my day scouring the digital world for bad guys and have attended a graduate open house for a program I am loving the more I think about it.

    I could use your and all of the other multipotentialites thoughts on this.

  20. Kristin Romaine says:

    I’m a noob to all of this and I’m still figuring out my theme and how to incorporate all of this into a job but writing is one of my passions so I really want to blog a bit about it. I’d also love to meet you when I am in Portland in Jan. I live in Phoenix!!!

    Kristin

  21. Richard Leppig says:

    I am at an age where my pilot light is going out. Still able-bodied but constantly over-reaching on the simple things. But I was alive and an adult on this date in 1963 when a crushing cloud appeared over this country. Time can be an incredible healer if we’re open to it. The hard part is following the changes. How did we get here? Some good people’s striving plus other people’s positive support. Countered by others’ neglect.
    The Media has become dominant in affecting our lives and not in the good way, the noble way I have understood it should be. If it is still the message, the message is the sensation, not the content. Journalism has lost it’s way and people seem to be grouping up for “protection.”
    53 years ago, as now, it was far too easy to take down leaders and to capture the hearts of people by playing to their baser instincts with fear and mistrust. One way or another, i believe we must listen to the positive and truthful things our hearts tell us and act upon them. Even as so many will continue to out of reach.

  22. Carol says:

    Dear Emily,
    I’m across the ocean from you but I too feel a disconnection with our political stance and certainly the hatred and intolerance that seems to be all around us at these difficult times. I read your posts but don’t often comment, but I feel compelled to write that (and this is a reminder to MYSELF) that there is still a lot of love in the world. That I love and am loved. That most people are kind and concerned for our fellow human beings their humanity and our planet. I may not have the ability to make great changes and influence many. But I can make the little bit of world around me nicer. I can smile and greet people as I pass them on the street. I can give my money to the homeless, I can be kind and offer my help, skills and energy to people who are struggling more than I. I can speak up when I see people being treated unfairly. These small things can make a small difference and if we all did these things the world would be a better place. I know I could try harder, and I’m trying to be a better person. Lots of love as always to you and yours and our world wide community. Xxx

  23. Phil says:

    I’m Canadian and I’m really sorry about your election results as they are quite surreal. Might seem like an oversimplification, but just move to Canada (Quebec is really nice :o) and live a free, peaceful, civilized life. I know I am. Cheers!

  24. Ana says:

    Hi Emily and everyone,

    I don’t normally write comments and I wasn’t about to after I saw all the comments. But if you read this it may help you. I know how important it is to have people who are “there” when life becomes greyish.. I will just say that there is always power in ourselves that no outcome or situation can even touch. That’s the power we must reach for, no matter what. I’m also speaking from across the pond so I don’t really know much about the situation in the US to be totally honest, but I do believe that no matter what we can always trust that the outcome will be fine, and keep valuing our own life so much that we place ourselves above every election, every political situation, etc. I have this dream of going to the States again, and it has not become less powerful because of the new government. So, find you own inner place where you find yourself, and leave behind everything else :)
    I really hope it helps. Lots of hugs for everyone who needs them :)))

  25. Rene says:

    Hi, Emily,

    I don’t usually come out to write much, but you sound like you need some friendly voices to reach out to you. I don’t live in the US, but I still watched with horror at Trump’s election and what that meant in terms of how and why he got elected. I have watched Trump’s carreer from the sidelines for some time, and it’s very clear to me that he is not a man of morals, as long as his actions feed his greedy wallet. I also watched with trepidation as he plans to fill the critical posts with the most despicable cretins in US politics, especially his VP. I watch with dismay as this came to be because fear and hatred and sexism and bigotry and greed and laziness and domination of emotion have finally reached a tipping point and overpowered reason and compassion and understanding and morality. I worry about his economic plan, as it doesn’t take an economist to see that Trump is no economist and that his plan is a what’s what in how to ruin a nation’s coffers. Canada, after all, is very losely linked to the US economy. If the US economy tanks, ours will probably get dragged down with it.

    On a bit of bright side, though, remember that Trump is a scam artist. It’s been smoke and mirrors from the very beginning, and what’s behind them is starting to show. The wall isn’t likely to go up, some of the harsh policies he has been championing are starting to get forgotten, and who knows what else he will bakcpedal on. Barring the electoral college becoming wise and reject the election’s results, the results might not be as bad as we fear. Yes, the cretins in important positions are still there, and the fallout of the victory is still reverberating through the country in evil ways, but please don’t despair. Your great country has survived political disasters like this before, and it will wisen up again, I’m sure. It takes brave souls like yours to fight for its integrity and win.

    We have seen recently, from both sides of the border, how great America can be. To steal Trump’s scam slogan the right way, it can be great again. You have Canada’s sympathies and Canada’s encouragement. We are otherwise helpless across the border to do much about it, but we are still hopeful that people like you continue to make things change for the better. You have the talent for it. Keep fighting for what’s right. Know that you have friends here.

    Rene

  26. Shell says:

    Wow, so many good perspectives in these comments so far. May I say that thank you to all of you. Gave me some more ideas. Always good. ?? I want to send out hugs to everyone too.?
    It is important to remember we’re not alone.
    I was very scared and shocked too when Trump won. I actually had to take a sick day from work. I just knew I needed a day to take care of myself to help me function again. This is the first time I’ve done that. If the person that I didn’t vote for in the past didn’t win, I would be a little sad, but I could get on with life very well. As many of you know, the his is different. I am not one of the major serious minorities who could be affected. I’m a straight white woman, so I just have the “woman” thing going on?.
    However, I’m quite empathetic. So much that I could feel the fear and uncertainty for those who could be affected deep inside of me.
    That being said, I am feeling a lot better than a few weeks ago. It is still there, of course, but working on it the best I can. One thing I did was send out a text to all my loved ones (including those who could have voted for Trump). I sent everyone Peace and Love. I told them how much they meant to me. That helped. I’ve adored the safety pin idea. To me, it means “I have your back, no matter who you are. That helped. I try to smile at every person I see now and sometimes times add a hello. I try to send out more Peace and Love to defeat the hate that could be lingering. I speak up and defend, when needed. Been trying I do more yoga and meditation to help clear my head and send out more Peace and Love.
    I try to keep things in mind. Donald Trump did not winover half the state, he won less. Over half the state voted for Clinton, a third party, they wrote someone in, or they just didn’t vote. That not every person who voted for Trump was a violent, racist, sexist, bigot, straight, Christain, republican male who wears a white sheet. There were Liberals and actually some minorities who did. That many of the white people who voted for him want change and this was their way of speaking up. That not all republicans voted for Trump, some voted for Hilary, a third party, did a write in, or didn’t vote. That I should get rid of many of my own assumptions and biases. That hopefully this wakes up all the parties, in general. That they all have some work to do to help ALL Americans. As well as doing the stuff I said above.

    I will stop before my novel gets longer. Just do remember you’re not alone. Try not to always imagine the worst. (I know, easy to say for a straight white woman). Just remember the power of positivity. If we put the worst out, what can you expect but having it happen?

    Namaste

  27. Shell says:

    Okay, sigh… I did forget, the scary ones ? They are out there, it in reality, they are a small group. They are cowards who hide behind Trump as their excuse. Just like they twist the Bible, Quran, etc. as excuses to spread their hate. Hate and ignorance won’t win in the end. Love and education will. Namaste

  28. Shell says:

    Oh no, sorry about the weird question marks. On my phone and ffirgot the emojis won’t work. Also my bad grammar. Writing quick on my IPhone and didn’t check before I sent.?

  29. Greg G says:

    I think Michael Moore nailed it when he spoke recently about why people will vote for Trump:

    “They’ve lost their jobs, the banks foreclosed, next came the divorce and now the wife and kids are gone, the car’s been repo-ed. They haven’t had a vacation in years, they’re stuck with the sh***y bronze plan where you can’t even get a f***ing Percocet. They’ve essentially lost everything they have except one thing […]: the right to vote. They might be penniless, they might be homeless, they might be f**ked over and f**ked up – it doesn’t matter because it’s equalized on that day.

    On 8 November, the dispossessed will walk into the voting booth […] and put a big f**king X in the box next to the name of the man who has threatened to upend and overturn the very system that ruined their lives: Donald J. Trump.

    It will feel good. For a day, or maybe a week. Possibly a month. And then. Like the Brits, who wanted to send a message, so they voted to leave Europe only to find out that if you vote to leave Europe you, actually have to leave Europe […] So when the rightfully angry people of Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin find out after a few months in office that President Trump wasn’t going to do a damn thing for them, it will be too late to do anything about it.”

    This was a protest vote- a Molotov cocktail thrown against the palace walls (no matter how self-sabotaging). Remember that the same country that elected Mr Trump, was the same one that elected Barack Obama twice. And again, only 50% of eligible voters even voted, so only half of them voted to elect Trump (even then he lost by over a Million votes). So, even if they are all retrograde bigots, they’re only less than 25% of the population. If this is any consolation…

  30. Robin MacLean says:

    My comment: Blah! Blah! Blah!

    There is a line from Gladiator (the movie): “What is Rome? Rome is the power of the mob…”

    Here and now… Trump is simply today’s Caesar. Blah. Blah. Blah. Rhetoric. Rhetoric. Rhetoric. Caesar was assassinated … hopefully not another JFK episode…and Donald’s narcissism will graciously rise to the challenge… or not?!

    The bureaucrats and Sycophants remain. Years and years of administration. Do not fail to see the pure sludge beneath “President”. Old families, old money, old thinking: me, me, me. Power and Money… the oldest theme in the book.

    I watch things pass. Today’s Crisis! Today’s Martyr! The Ilumuniati! Nibiru! The Today’s problem and solution. … again, and again, and again…

    What I know? Love lasts. You know your partner – now, today, and to the best of your ability going forward (I cannot comment on divorce). I know my family… I trust. I love. I have faith in them. They may suffer from human failings but always remain grounded in “family is family”.. We love. We forgive. We may not forget.. but … We love…we forgive….

    We have survived so much more as a species and as committed couples. Dig in. Ground yourself. Know what you know. Practise what you know for the the highest good. “Act locally, think globally.”

    At the end of the day, never, never fear. It is what is sold on this ridiculous and wonderful medium of “internet”. I am sick of hearing today’s latest fear mongering… (on a personal note, my current partner had me discussing and googling “armageddon” at 4 a.m. during his “meditation” session. All I said was, “Be here. Be now. Feel the soft sheets. Feel the warmth of human company. Ground. Just be and know that all is perfect. Be here.”

    I tire of fear. Live. Live for yourself, your partner, your family. Be you!

  31. Johnny says:

    I remember when Obama was elected in 2008 and 2012. The conservative voices called him many names. They made dire predictions that the United States, even the world would come to an end and utter chaos would rule the day. I think it is sad that elections have so much negative rhetoric that the losing side has been bombarded with that turns out not to be completely true. I believe the United States is much stronger than that. Our system is not perfect but it was put together by some men who had the same fears as we do. And they did everything they can to create a system that could weather any storms that may come. We as a people can overcome any obstacles if we just have hope and come together and unite with our common desires. I don’t believe we should be focusing on negative things especially possible negative outcomes. There are plenty of positives to change that we may yet see. If negatives actually start happening, then we fight those battles as they come. But always keep a positive attitude that we can overcome anything if we are united. The people are strong. Violence and negative attitudes work against any cause.

  32. Michael Hurley says:

    I’m not going to comment about the US Presidential election. Other people on both sides of the fence have made comments supporting their point of view or trying to be the loudest monkey at the top of the tree. What is there further to say? What could I possibly add to that noise? That doesn’t mean I’m not frightened and angry that Donald Trump won the election. Nor that his supporters have their heads firmly jammed up their collective asses to see what has and will happen next. So what will my voice further add to the storm of voices except to get lost in the noise.

    Now having said all that. Many months ago when Trump began his run for the Presidency. I made the recommendation to a number of American Face Book Friends that if they wanted to find out the possible outcome of the election. They should get a novel written in the 1930’s by the author Sinclair Lewis entitled; It Can’t Happen Here. This novel is about an American right wing Nazi take over of the United States by democratic means. This past American election so reminds me of that book in a very frightening way. To bad more people don’t read or study history. They would learn a thing of two.

  33. Kate Baltau says:

    Thank you for your kind and heartfelt words, they were greatly needed and very much appreciated.

  34. Don says:

    BTW, I know it’s only Tuesday, but since I won’t remember later, happy Thanksgiving on Thursday and shabbat shalom on Friday.

  35. Liz says:

    I keep telling myself this is not real. I cried the morning after and will remember this past election day as clear as I remember 9/11. It has been devastating and I still tear up when I think that people went out and were “part of the problem,” not a part of the solution. Bullying is certainly something to talk about, but not something that seems remotely close to a resolution. And yet, it SHOULD be!

    My 6 – year – old nephew is devastated. His world of superheroes (where evil is defeated) came crashing down on election night. And yet, in my world the horror is real. It is the never-ending nightmare… just a bad dream I can’t seem to awaken from. It happens in schools on a daily basis: kids are bullied, others see, no one reports. Oh, the timeliness of Negan on The Walking Dead! We must remember that “these are simply necessary evils,” I tell my nephew.

    The time for new superheroes is now. I just stumbled upon the safety pin movement and in a small way it is a real start. We can ALL be heroes; in the realest, rightest, most righteous way!

  36. Muhammed Abdul-Ghaffar says:

    Good post Emilie. I believe that global society right now is undergoing a huge transition period. With regards to Donald Trump getting “elected” it didn’t surprise me too much. One important thing that us US citizens need to understand is that regardless of who becomes president, there will already and always will be very powerful people behind the scenes that we aren’t aware of that drive the mechanisms of global society. Human beings (and not just US citizens) have to stand together and create a balanced world in which we can all live peacefully, and that starts with a shift in consciousness. With every new president that gets into office I’ll always know that they’ll never make this country TRULY better. No matter who gets into office we’ll still have poverty, artificial economic scarcity, false flag operations, police brutality, laws that infringe on our rights, projects such as the North Dakota Pipeline that destroy people’s livelihoods (Did I mention Donald Trump is in favor of that?), the untrustworthy mainstream media, etc. This may seem irresponsible of me in the eyes of the system but I don’t vote, if anything I’d vote on the local level and not national. I don’t vote for two reasons, one being that the person for presidency is already selected beforehand by powerful and wealthy individuals (Bilderberg meetings), and two that I don’t believe that I have to select the lesser of two evils to make my world a better place. Of course this is no grounds for complacency, for to bring about true change one must understand why things are the way they are in the first place; Such as our Pavlovian education system, the occultation of knowledge and technologies that’d disrupt control systems if people knew about them, the Federal Reserve and fiat money, how what is called the Hegelian Dialectic is used to start wars such as WW1, WW2, Iraq War, etc. The United States was never designed to truly benefit the people, all you have to do is look at what’s going on in our country right now and what happened in the past. Police brutality, how could something like this possibly happen for a prolonged period of time in a country that promises liberty and justice for all? A country where people such as Muslims, blacks, gays, and other groups face injustice and have to live in fear? A country that utilizes a currency that was designed to create consuming debt and that is virtually worthless from a private bank that is not government-owned? A country that recognizes corporations as individuals that are allowed to privatize water, seed, and the installation of a 1000+ mile pipeline that threatens the environment and livelihoods of many people? A country that stripped an education that grants students the ability to learn anything by themselves (TRIVIUM METHOD) for an education where it’s purpose is to create obedient consumers? I understand the fear that we’re all facing for I’m Muslim and black at that, and black people are going to get hit pretty hard during this presidency. We are the ones that can bring about true change through creating communities such as Puttylike, understanding the underlying causes of many of the world’s problems, and creating solutions for those problems. Once again, it begins with a shift in consciousness. I shall provide sources of course to the things I just talked about.

    “Voting is a form of self-gratification, rather than a way to influence real political change. It does not change the system for the better, because the system has already been tainted within the roots.”

    http://www.collective-evolution.com/2016/07/25/the-presidential-reality-show-the-illusion-of-choice-is-2016-the-year-everybody-realized-us-elections-are-rigged/

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ivan-eland/reality-and-illusion-in-american-politics_b_8688510.html

    http://www.liberty.news/2015-10-29-dont-be-fooled-by-the-political-game-the-illusion-of-freedom-in-america.html

    https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/peacerevolution/episodes/2011-04-10T12_03_12-07_00

  37. Keith Kehrer says:

    Well, I am not a member of any of the ethnic groups of alternative gender peeps or anything. I was born a white male but I don’t relate to any of the Trump supporters. I feel left out because I am a musician and in general people love us but we are seen as freaks so even though I am not Jewish, Black, Muslim or Hispanic I feel dispossessed by society at large. People love what I do but in general feel I am ripping them off by asking for money for what I do. So. I work a real job and keep my thoughts of feeling left out and depression to myself. I am a white male. What should have to worry about. Thank goodness that I have a temporary outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I can write them down in words and music.

    KK

    • Emilie says:

      Hey Keith,

      You might check out Amanda Palmer’s book, The Art of Asking. I think you’d find it reeeeally interesting in regards to your “ripping people off by asking for money” issue. :)

      Always nice to hear from you!

      Emilie

  38. Monica says:

    I, too, am fearful. I fear for the safety of my cousin who is protecting the water beside the Standing Rock Sioux and representing our indigenous forebears. I fear for the safety of my trans cousin and am heartbroken for the fear her parents feel. I fear for the well-being of the intellectually disabled, autistic, and emotionally disabled children and adults with whom I work. I am fearful for my disabled adult daughter, for my hardworking elder daughter and my son-out-law. I am worried about all my gay friends and neighbors who only recently acquired their civil rights and now, like you, worry that those rights will be taken away. I am most fearful for my beautiful 2 ½ year old granddaughter. What kind of a world will she grow up in?

    I fear for democracy, for public education, for the environment, for individual and group rights, for freedom of and from religion, and so much more.

    I fear for myself because I am 64, and while I firmly believe I can, I know that in reality I CAN’T protect my girls as I once did. I am a teller of stories, so my job now is to continue to tell the stories of love and hope and decency and righteousness. I hope that each of us uses the gift/craft/skill/passion/talent/etc., to make a better world than the one that was thrust upon us on November 8 and is becoming more oppressive with each cabinet appointment. We, as multipotentialites, are well-suited to this task. Somehow, I KNOW that we will prevail in these battles and will be able to quiet our collective fears.

  39. ian says:

    I would never make light of the turmoil that many people are feeling and I truly feel your obvious and understandably worry. But looking at the positives, (I always try to), whether he knows it or not, whether we welcome it or not, couldn’t you describe Trump as a Multipotentialite?

  40. emilycruse says:

    thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. Me too feeling same like you. stressed and worried but we can’t do anything dear. Hope for the best.

  41. Anu says:

    Dear Multipods,

    God has all given us many talents which we utilize and bless the world with.

    In these times, we all have to go to God in prayer as a lot of things are now beyond our control. It’s hard enough going through life with our many talents and figuring stuff out. May the Lord grant us the discernment and wisdom we need in figuring all these out.

    We have to be anxious for nothing –> Philippians 4:6 New King James Version (NKJV)
    6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

    Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it shall be given…”

    Have faith and continue to press on multipods…

    God bless all the multipods and our many talents! x

  42. Dannii says:

    Hi,Em,I’m from China, and I have been following your website for a long time.That’s a great experience for me since I’ve known Multipotentialite From your TEDx Talk in Dec 2015. I think maybe I’m a Multipotentialite too, but I have a question:
    I wonder if my every interests that I must have done brilliant or professional for it?
    Some guys said Multipotentialites not only who have many interests, but also be great at each interests they have,can even say thay are an expert in the field. That made me very distressed. I have many interestes too, maybe good at for one or two of them, but not all of them. At least not be professor level.
    So, I’m very Confuse. What can I do to be a Multipotentialite?

    Thanks Em,your light my life.

    • Emilie says:

      Hi Dannii,

      A multipotentialite is someone who is interested in many subjects. That’s it. A polymath, however, is someone who is accomplished in many areas. That’s the key difference between the terms. Multipotentialites are defined by our curiosity, polymaths are defined by their accomplishments. That’s not to say that multipotentialites don’t eventually become accomplished in multiple areas, it’s just not what defines us or what’s important. Does that make sense? You definitely sound like a multipotentialite to me. :)

      Emilie

  43. Judith says:

    Just thank you for your heartfelt words …. the collective conciousness is more palpable to me right now than its ever been.

  44. Cass says:

    I just want to send an air hug! I’m going to try to do the same — be real and reach out to others. Let’s be brave and get each others backs! I got you!!!

  45. Linda says:

    Yeah, my partner and I are afraid too.

    I cant change who was voted in as the US President, I cant fix the issues between the west and the middle east, I cant help all the people living in extreme poverty. All I can do is focus on creating the world I want to live in by example, be the person that I believe we should all strive to be, live a low impact life, and just generally be the change I want to see in the world.

    Perhaps I can be a role model for others, and together we can create a world in which no one is or needs to be afraid… ever again.

  46. Christine says:

    Hi Emilie,

    I can’t believe this community exists! I found your blog by following a few invitations from the universe and some friends. I listened to your TED talk on the very day I was contemplating this idea that maybe nothing was wrong with me and that there were other people like myself in this world. And, maybe we were an asset to society ; )

    A quick bit on the election: I am not going to offer any new insights, just my own voice… I am a teacher in a high needs area of Denver and have the best morning duty: to welcome my students into the school to begin a day of learning. November 9th was the hardest morning of my life. Looking into each of their eyes and knowing that my common “good morning, make today your masterpiece, make it a great day, what are curious about right now? so happy to see you today, go find a challenge” rhetoric seemed utterly unauthentic to the present moment. My middle school students walked in with heads hanging, tears in their eyes. Some scoffed sarcastically, “See ya Miss, guess I am going back to Mexico.” Others looked up at me and asked with the most earnest look I have ever seen, “Did you vote for Trump?”

    I woke up that morning already crying, completely unsure how I should be.. for them, and for me. It took meditation, reading several articles, and watching the sunrise in the parking lot for me to settle on an initial approach. It changed half way through the day. My approach continues to change the more information I gather. I think this is ok. My approach changes, but the WAY in which I stay open and mobilized does not.

    Ultimately, we need to arm our children with the language, hope, courage, and compassion to join the fight. If they fight without language, they will not be understood. If they fight without hope, they will quit when they become impatient with the lack of progress. If they fight without courage, they will lose themselves. If they fight without compassion, hate will win. Their approach needs to change strategically, but the WAY in which we fight can remain the same. What we can do as adults is to show our children that we can disagree with each other AND STILL show compassion. Give them example after example of showing courage and compassion to another human being. If we can do this again and again, think of how many children will start to emulate this act of listening with an open heart?

    It’s small. It’s the furthest thing from a revolutionary thought, but it’s something that we can do today. And tomorrow. And every day after that. Show up. Listen with compassion. Repeat.

  47. Shell says:

    Christine,
    That was absolutely beautiful! So grateful that you are there for the future generations:).
    Reading many of these responses have really helped me. Thank all of you. Sending you all much Love. Namaste

  48. I think it helps to think of the growth that occurs during events like this. Vulnerable groups will now only get stronger and people in those groups will work together even more so. It’s in the face of adversity we push ourselves. Humans are like plants that grow only when put into uncomfortable situations. Though as a non-vulnerable, I may be out of line :I

    Hope the best!

    Michael