They say that the death card in a tarot reading isn’t necessarily a bad omen. It means the closing of one chapter and the opening of another– a new beginning, if you will.
I wonder if scanners get more death cards in their tarot readings than other people…
My “Career” as a Musician
I used to be a superstar songwriter. Honestly, not to toot my own horn, but I was really good at crafting melodies and writing infectious choruses. I used to drive to songwriting conventions in other cities, study song structure, and attend summer music programs at prestigious New England music colleges.
Out of everything I dabbled in growing up, music more than anything, seemed like my likeliest career choice. It wasn’t just that I had honed my writing skills, I was driven. I believed deep down that music was my calling.
And then one day – just like that – I wrote my last good song.
I couldn’t write anymore. The passion was gone.
An Identity Crisis
Honestly, it was sort of devastating, my loss of interest in a musical career. But more than anything, it was confusing.
What was this, prolonged writers’ block? Why couldn’t I write? How come every time I tried coming up with a new guitar riff, it sounded uninspired? Why were all my lyrics coming out so cheesy? Where had my drive gone? How come songwriting was no longer fun?
It felt like I had lost my life’s purpose, and as hard as I tried to hold on to it, I just couldn’t.
What I later realized is that I had gotten so proficient at songwriting that it was no longer a challenge. It no longer held any mystery for me, and I was bored.
It was time to end it.
Saying Goodbye Doesn’t Make You a Failure
Dan Savage talks about how society views any romantic relationship not ending in death as a “failed relationship”. But sometimes you’re with a person for exactly as long as you’re meant to be with them. If when you part, you each look back fondly on your time together and come out of the relationship healthy and happy, then why should it be considered a failure?
And yet, if your passion for something (or someone) wanes– if it doesn’t last a lifetime, that’s seen as tragic. We’re told that we selected the wrong mate/profession or that we’re afraid of commitment and are self-sabotaging.
Multipotentialites are Wired to Explore
I’m not saying that some people don’t get scared and give up on their dreams. It happens all the time.
But some of us aren’t giving up when the going gets tough. Some of us have simply reached a level of mastery or contentment and now we need a new challenge. If we hold on to something once the passion has dried up, we risk becoming miserable.
This is just how us scanners are wired. We’re meant to shift paths and explore new interests. It’s in our blood.
If I hadn’t let music go, I wouldn’t have gotten into film making or web design or law or blogging! Had I clung to that identity of Emilie = musician, I would have missed out on all kinds of wonderful experiences.
The closing of one chapter is a time to celebrate. It means that you got what you came for and that there’s something new and exciting waiting for you behind the next door.
Listen to what your heart is telling you. If it’s time to leave, then leave.